} Actually, unix is a very user-friendly system. Its just that it is
} particular about which users it chooses to be friendly with. This is a
} fairly common feature with highly sophisticated operating systems,
} especially those resulting from the AI project at MIT. (AT&T, of
} course, is one of the more active recruiters at MIT.)
} You have, however, taken one of the first steps towards becoming a
} 'Friend of Unix' (tm). The USENET Oracle is known to be a close friend
} of unix, and service to the Oracle is very likely to earn you points
} with unix.
} Other things you might do:
} 1. Participate in any USENET language discussions you find, especially
} those comparing C to any other language. Disparage the other
} language, praise C as highly as possible. Imply that writing in the
} other language is beneath your dignity as a Programmer. (You earn
} double points on Tuesdays or if the other language is COBOL.)
} 2. Attempt to set up an e-mail gateway between either the Internet or
} UUCP and another network environment. Unfortunately, the easy
} candidates like Fidonet have already been taken. Try GEnie, America
} Online, or the Home Shopping Network.
} 3. You must, at some point soon, choose your stance on the GNU project.
} It probably doesn't make any difference which side you choose, as
} long as your defense of or complaints about the FSF are virulent.
} 4. Stop using whatever mail or news programs you currently have access
} to and switch to emacs for both functions.
} 5. If your employer/university doesn't have a unix source code license,
} lobby for getting one. (It isn't true that the Oracle gets a
} commission on these, but be sure to mention My name, just in case.)
} 6. Join the battle to save alt.sex.pictures. Write threatening letters
} to the Houston Chronicle and Ann Landers. (Dear Abby is aready one
} of *them*.)
} When you have earned enough unix points, you will be admitted to the
} lowest level of the unix priesthood. Don't call us, we'll call you.
} PS--The Oracle denies that you are part of his department, or even his
} division. Heck, you aren't even in his league.