307-07 (14610 dist, 2.6 mean)
Selected-By: email@example.com (Michael Zintl)
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> I have a request of the Oracle,
> Whose brains underneath his hair follicles,
> Are renown for their zest,
> Ne'er fail in the test,
> And are priceless down to the last molecule.
> I've been struck by the curse of a witch,
> I'm compelled by incredible itch,
> To say not a word,
> But by limerick be heard,
> To say all, this being quite a hitch.
> I must search for the key to the spell,
> Deal the wicked witch her death knell,
> So please hear my plea,
> And help set me free,
> Or else, I must bade life farewell.
> Oracle, dear to my heart,
> With this knowledge I pray thee part,
> Cure me from this ill,
> Help me the witch kill,
> And help those who from her spells smart.
> And thus I must end this request,
> Sent at my soul's own behest,
> For truely I know,
> How far you will go,
> Not to fail when it comes to the test.
} The Oracle has heard your request,
} And does not like being put to the test,
} But with patience to guide,
} He will spare your hide,
} And give you the answer that's best.
} Now that witch has cursed you, that's true.
} That was quite an evil thing of her to do,
} It was mean and cruel,
} To treat you like the fool,
} And not altogether unfreindly, too.
} Now to fool that witches' evil plot,
} Will take some work, quite a lot.
} But if you hang tough,
} It won't seem quite so rough,
} And that witch will wither and rot.
} Now on with the heart of the plan,
} Make sure you some sulphur at hand.
} Wave your arms all about,
} With a scream and a shout,
} And blow the sulphur 'round with a fan.
} Now this is not the end, but don't worry,
} Although you've taken away the glory,
} Of some stupid witch,
} Who was a cold-hearted bitch,
} Because you owe the Oracle a story!