} So . . . You're not satisfied with a perfectly good Oracular (Greek)
} response - you need to go all the way back to the Babylonians for
} an Ur response! All right, all right, lemme look in the text (the
} Ur-text, of course) . . . %$@#&! cuneiform . . . Ah, here we go, the
} Urratic Creation Myth:
} And for three hundred and sixty years did Takuendotesh
} (Least of the gods, and first of men, and he-who-was-to-build
} The city of Tiri-kalebashtiktik-dishukara-habanagirashti)
} Contend with the monstrous monster Tiamat,
} And all the while the red-lipped goddess Lisha
} Laughed, and drank wine, and burashta-wine, and tikash-wine.
} And at the end of the three hundred and sixty years, she cried out:
} "Tell me, O Takuendotesh, least of gods, first of men,
} What do you think about, while grappling with the Great Bloody
} And Takuendotesh said, "O Lisha, red-lipped goddess
} In all these three hundred and sixty years, I have thought only of
} you." And red-lipped Lisha drank more wine, and burashta-wine, and
} tikash-wine And then laughed, and cried out, "What, then, O
} Takuendotesh, Least of the gods, and first of men, and
} you-who-are-to-build The city of
} Do you think of me?" And Takuendotesh replied, in Lydian,
} "Tikarnasharti o kina koshitudarnatka kishkilusha shoktadori."
} Then the heart of Lisha was much angered, and she raised her sword
} (The sword of gold, and silver, and mish-copper, and tashak-copper)
} And brought it down to slay Takuendotesh; but Takuendotesh,
} Least of gods, and first of men, lowered his head
} So the blow fell upon the head of Tiamat; and thus was Tiamat slain.
} The head of the monster became the moon, and its flat belly
} Became the earth, and its blood the rivers and streams and oceans
} And seas and creeks and rivulets and lakes and ponds and . . .
} Anyway, you get the idea - the world is as it is *now* because women
} found out what men really think about them. Of course, *I* might have
} given a different answer, but you were the one who insisted on an Ur
} You owe the Oracle a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform.