|
} I have spent untold hours contemplating your question, after
} having consumed enormous quantities of Pepsi and Fruit Loops to
} prepare myself for this most arduous intellectual journey.
} Thus begins my response:
}
} To fully appreciate the answer to your question, you must first
} understand the strange and subtle marraige of superstring theory
} and relativistic quantum mechanics that is modern physics.
} As this is a fairly complex subject, especially for those not
} endowed with the Oracle's formidable wisdom, I shall attempt to
} explain it with a simple experiment:
}
} First, find the biggest commercial clothes dryer that you can.
}
} (...The Oracle likes the big green one in the corner of Ed's
} Wash 'n Whirl, the famous DC laundry and square dance emporium,
} but does not imagine that a trip to our nation's capitol will
} be required to carry out the experiment...)
}
} Bring along a friend with a fistful of quarters, but by all means
} don't eat lunch before you leave. Your friend may, if he or she
} wishes, have a small piece of fruit beforehand, though this is
} not usually necessary. Carefully climb into the empty dryer,
} close the door, and ask your friend to insert $7.50 into the
} machine and set it at it's warmest level. Look at your watch,
} and note the time carefully. Ask your friend to start the dryer.
}
} As soon as the dryer reaches it's operating temperature and speed,
} you may notice an unusual effect explainable only by the theories
} mentioned previosly. Assuming you remain concious, and that
} you can continue the experiment for a sufficiently long time
} (estimates range from the age of the Universe at the high end
} to the length of time required to translate the Koran into Pig
} Latin at the low end), you will become aware of a multitude of
} tiny, fuzzy objects striking you in the face.
}
} As time passes, you will find that these minute particles, called
} "hosons", grow in size until they become recognizable as swarms
} of socks. A special corollary to the Pauli Exclusion Priciple,
} known as the "Hane's Law", states that no two of these particles
} can be identical. They are, in fact, every sock that has ever
} gone into a dryer and not come out again. Incidentally, the
} Oracle hopes that this puts to rest persistant rumors that Elvis
} has been stealing these socks and selling them to raise money for
} his comeback tour. How silly.
}
} Thus, gentle reader, is the answer: just as hosons can appear
} from out of the void, so too can people with too many socks enter
} into it. Let this be a lesson to you, and to all hosiery fanciers
} everywhere: Not only does God play dice with the Universe, She
} doesn't want you to have more socks than she does. So there.
}
} You owe the Oracle a case of Pepto Bismol, and a dog-eared copy
} of "A Brief History of Time".
}
} this incarnation of the Oracle brought to you by:
} ferrick@acsu.buffalo.edu
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
