} The Oracle considers the Piscataqua River Most Sacred and the mere
} mention of it by mortals gets His/Her Panties in a Real Bunch, but I
} will be merciful. Any use of the Sacred Name, or any name which is
} spelled close enough to it, falls under the Immortal Copyright
} Infringement Act (tm).
} The Great River (as it is known in heaven - New Hampshire) is the
} source of all that is considered intelligent life. You see, my child,
} that whole Adam and Eve business was just a test. Let me see if I can
} put it into terms you will understand. Ever make pancakes? The Big O
} loves em, can't get enough. Well, when you make pancakes, ever notice
} that the first one never seems to come out right? Either the grill
} isn't hot enough or you used too much butter, that's what the bottom of
} the stack is there for. Unlike breakfast, humanity is much more
} complicated. Once a starter species has begun, you can't shove them
} under the stack, so to speak.
} Next thing you know, you've got Club MTV, Good Morning America, Coke
} Vs. Pepsi, Nuttin Honey, Reebok Pumps, 30 Something, Jessie Helms, Ron
} and Nancy, Big Hair, Fake Russian Revolutions, Yugos, Smurfs, Lee Press
} on Nails, The Home Shopping Network, Jim and Tammy, Commercials that
} last an hour, More Workout Tapes than you could shake a dead Marketing
} Executive at, VH1, Nuclear Waste, and Ninety Years of Cosby Reruns, to
} name but a few blots on the face of the once beautiful Mother Earth.
} But through it all the Mighty Piscataqua flows, in her gentle strength,
} waiting for the day when the Gods call a new people forth from her
} bosom, about two seconds after they sweep away the old one like a
} cosmic dustbuster on a used Kleenex. Then the Earth will be made whole
} again and a people will be born to rule upon it who actually support
} Public Television, without the need for a yearly beg-o-thon. Yes, the
} end is coming, or rather the beginning. Don`t invest in long term CD's,
} if you get my Most Holy Drift.
} You owe the Oracle a sense of purpose for your life; and quit thinking
} about telephone books. They're all going to be put on a damn computer
} some day.
} Chow Babe.