} Hmm, good grovelling, I guess I can answer this one. Actually, Helen
} of Troy was in fact quite ugly, even by the standards of her time.
} Until Phyllis Diller came around, she was considered byu scholars as
} the most hideous woman in history. The misconception all started when
} a widely quoted Mascedonian proclaimed her's as "a face so ugly, it
} would cause the immediate departure of a thousand score drunken
} sailors." Of course now she is known as "the face that launched a
} thousand ships," due to some extremely shoddy translation.
} While it is true that she was the primary cause of the Trojan War,
} another misunderstanding in history is that the whole thing started
} when a drunken Paris claimed "he would screw anything they put in front
} of him." When an eager Helen came forward, Paris backed down, and a
} brawl ensued over who should pay for the damages. Achilles meanwhile
} sprained his ankle running away from Helen, who then spent the better
} part of a month "nursing" him back to health. He later made up the
} whole arrow story to avoid the ridicule of his friends.
} As for playboy or Penthouse, try American Breeder.
} As for comparing mattress gymnastic scores with Lisa, dream on mortal,
} Lisa's the best there is. (Helen gave out after three hours)
} You owe the Oracle a copy of "Pee Wee's Little Adventure"