} The Oracle gets many questions about siblings, and, fortunately, many
} problems mortals have regarding siblings have ample precedent. Yours,
} my supplicant, is among them.
} You see, back in 3986 B.C., after my good friend Yahweh had booted
} Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, what Yahweh termed
} subprocesses but what you would probably call "children" had emerged,
} two of whom were these two dudes named Abel and Cain. Abel was the
} older one, and as such, often claimed the preponderance of resources,
} much to Cain's distress. Cain, although smaller and younger, was,
} nonetheless, the brasher. One is tempted to say "stupider", but that
} temptation might be due to hindsight. Anyway, Cain decided to try to
} annoy Abel into letting him have more responsibilities (for example,
} running the lawnmower), and, of course, just to spite him.
} Cain first tried calling Abel "dude" instead of "Abel" or "brother".
} Abel took this as a compliment, since he was a budding linguist and
} just thought that Cain was trying to coin new words, which would, of
} course be useful in all aspects of everyday life. Cain tried using
} "bro" without the intended effect. Abel recognized that Cain had
} found the first negative-fix method of describing endearment. Cain's
} combinations of "bro dude" and "dude bro" only puzzled Abel, since he
} couldn't figure out why Cain's word ordering was inconsistent.
} Finally, Cain drew despondent. Abel was getting more and more
} responsibility *and* was finding absolutely nothing annoying in what
} he had done. Finally, he decided to try to start threatening his
} brother, in the hopes of scaring him off to Poughkeepsie, anywhere but
} Mesopotamia. Thus, Cain fashioned the world's first jackknife out of
} a flat,sharpened rock, a twisted vine, and a piece of dried celery.
} Cain brandished the knife in front of Abel, who proclaimed, "Why,
} Cain! The world's first use of recycling, using discarded food as a
} tool!" Abel grasped the wrong end of the knife, puncturing his hand,
} and bled to death, because while he was wondering about why Cain's
} grammar was inconsistent, he had failed to invent Band-Aids.
} So, in the long run, whatever annoying phrase you use for your brother
} might annoy him to death.