} Ah, you have hit upon the primary benefit of being the Oracle -- the
} tax-free status. I simply donate all my income to myself and write it
} off in April.
} However, being a mere mortal you do not have that option (unless you
} happen to be named Billy Graham or Oral Roberts). I would suggest the
} following, in this order:
} 1. Take all your shoeboxes full of receipts and drop them on the
} auditor's desk. This may invoke cardiac arrest, either in yourself,
} depending on how many shoe boxes your have, or your auditor, solving yo
} may also invoke an audit of the last seven years of your life.
} 2. Declare bankruptcy, blame your accountants, hold a concert in your
} benefit and sell an album, performed by yourself, in an attempt to
} prove to the IRS and the world that you really didn't realize you
} needed to pay taxes.
} 3. Flee to Bolivia.
} If none of the above work, you should consider declaring yourself
} legally dead. Return all IRS correspondence with the word "DECEASED"
} written across the address, don't answer your phone, and refuse to be
} seen in public. Granted, it may cause irreparable damage to your social
} life, but being rendered poverty stricken by the IRS would have the
} same effect anyway.
} Also, <ringgggg>... Excuse me a moment.
} Mr. Oracle, my name is Bob Jones, I'm with the Internal Revenue
} It has come to our attention, Mr Oracle, that you have not filed a
} return with us for the past few decades, we were wondering why.
} We'll be sending someone to see you early next week. Please have your
} records ready for a review at that time.
} Ehhhh... Oh Hell. <ZOT>
} Guess I solved that problem. <ringggg>
} Hello, Mr. Oracle, my name is John Jones. I'm with the Internal
} Revenue Service. You can ZOT me if you like, Mr. Oracle, but there are
} thousands more where I came from. <click>
} Sorry about that. Like I said, follow my suggestions. If you need any
} more questions answered, write The Oracle, La Paz, Bolivia.
} You owe the Oracle a Swiss bank account.