> Oh most omniscient, omnipresent, omnivorous, omnidirectional, and
> omnipotent ORACLE, who is not only greater than I do imagine, but is
> greater than I CAN imagine, who is the fountain of all knowledge and
> wisdom, I, a most humble and unworthy supplicant, fear that I must beg
> a precious moment of your attention to help me with my insignificant
> For the past four years there has been a person on campus who
> apparently looks just like me. I have never seen this person, but most
> of my friends have, and have mistaken him to be me, even when I had
> been verifiably elsewhere. I do not know who this person is or what he
> wants, but as I am about to finish college and leave the area, I fear
> that the situation, whatever it is, must be resolved soon. I believe
> that the truth of the situation is one of four possibilities:
> 1. This person is my evil twin. He has been waiting for the right
> moment to kill me and then to replace me without anybody noticing.
> That way he can get my college degree, friends, money, job, and legal
> status without having to do any work.
> If this is the case, what should I do to prevent this person from
> taking my place? (For that matter, why would he want to take my place,
> considering my degree, friends, financial situation, job, and legal
> 2. Without knowing it, I am this person's evil twin. Instead of
> wasting these past for years studying, making friends, paying bills,
> and obeying laws (more or less), I shoud have been enjoying myself, and
> waiting for the right moment to take over his life. That way I could
> get the benefits of all his years of hard work without doing any
> If this is the case, what should I do to effectively take over this
> person's life without anybody noticing? Is his life really that much
> better than mine?
> 3. This person is actually myself from the future. After inventing
> time travel I decided to travel back in time to give the secret of time
> travel to myself. That way I will be able to use the knowledge to
> become incredibly rich without actually having to invent time travel
> again. I haven't contacted myself yet because I haven't figured out
> how to deliver the plans without causing disruptions in the space-time
> continuum. If this is the case, what is taking me so long to give
> myself the plans? Why hasn't my future-future-self figured it out and
> told my future-self how to accomplish the delivery to my present-self?
> 4. This person is actually you, the ORACLE. You have disguised
> yourself as me and you are having all kinds of fun, which I won't hear
> about until later when I am met at my door by the Police, FBI, CIA,
> KGB, ASPCA, Moral Majority, David Letterman's "stupid human tricks"
> film crew, the local media, and several motion picture companies
> looking to buy the movie rights to my (your) exploits.
> If this is the case, why did you choose me? (Also, can I have copies
> of the pictures when they are developed?)
> Oh, wise oracle, I humbly beg you to please tell me the true reason
> for the existance of this identical person, and what I should do about
> - Your most inferior supplicant.