} Your options are listed below. Please chose the one you like best.
} If you want more than $5000, use several of these methods.
} 1) Steal. Warning: illegal and dangerous.
} 2) Beg. Not advised, it might take very long to collect $5000.
} 3) Borrow. Out of the question, that's how you got into this s**t in
} the first place.
} 4) Work. Not advised, very tiring, and not a lot of fun.
} 5) Win the lottery. Strongly advised.
} 6) Save the life of a millionaire, then ask him to give you $5000.
} 7) Invent something. Then sell it for $5000.
} 8) Kidnap someone, then ask for $5000 from his/her
} wife/husband/child/parents/whomever cares. Warning: a really bad
} thing to do.
} 9) Blackmail. Take dirty pictures of someone and threaten him/her to
} show these to someone who gives a s**t. Illegal, of course.
} 10) Star in porn movies. Lotsa fun, but you might die of heart
} failure, if you are over 45.
} 11) Prostitution. Also fun, but a little dangerous. Use condoms each
} and every time.
} 12) Sell your soul to devil. Not advised, worse than dying.
} 13) Work for S & L.
} 14) Start a guerilla movement against a comunist government. Then ask
} George Bush for help.
} 15) Go to Middle East. Make a new country. Find oil. Sell.
} 16) Go to Middle East. Make a new country. Start war against Iraq.
} Ask the United States for help.
} 17) Go to Europe. Start your own country. Enter the EC. They'll
} help you.
} 18) If you are white, go to South Africa and get into the slave
} 19) If you have a religion, become a televangelist.
} 20) If you have no religion, start your own cult.
} 21) Contact the mafia.
} 22) Buy an apple. Sell it for the price of two. Repeat until rich.
} 23) Start your own 900 telephone line.
} 24) Throw yourself in front of a car, then sue the guy.
} 25) Put water in the tank of your car, then sue the company for not
} making it clear that water would harm your vehicle.
} 26) If you can't find a reason, sue someone for no reason. You might
} get lucky.
} 27) Become an actor.
} 28) Become a sports star.
} 29) Become a ...
} Well, if you have read this far, that means you are in *big* trouble.
} Here's my suggestion: open a hole in your shirt. Put lots of ketchup
} on yourself. Catch flies and let them lose in your house. Produce an
} offensive smell. A dead rat will do fine for this. Take your gun in
} your hand. Fire a blank shot. Then slowly throw yourself to the
} ground. Wait till your neighbors or your ennemies arrive. Don't
} move, they will go away, because they wouldn't want to be involved.
} You are now saved.
} You owe the oracle $5000. You have until friday to pay.