} First, you have to say the magic words.
} "Uh, abracadabra?"
} No, try again.
} "Oh, I know. Please?"
} No, but you're getting closer. Try again.
} "Great Oracle, please answer the question of this lowly mortal who is
} not worthy to sniff your shoe trees."
} Now you got it. I shall answer.
} The traditional season is late fall, after the leaves have fallen. The
} lack of foliage makes them easier to spot. License fees are usually
} minimal, and the limit is one ex-wife per day (although mormons are
} allowed up to three).
} Let us follow the brave hunter into the forest, to witness this
} exciting sport.
} He quietly creeps up to a tree, which looks out on a clearing. He
} positions himself behind the tree, quiets his breathing, and gently
} pulls out the ex-wife call. He blows into it and the sound of
} "alimony! alimony!" echos through the woods. There! What was that? A
} rustling from the bushes a ways down. He sees some sparkles of light
} and figures it may be another hunter, so he holds his fire. But now
} the creature steps out of the cover and he can see that the sparkling
} is the diamonds given to the ungrateful bitch months before by her
} husband. He aims and prepars to fire... but holds, as he sees she is
} not alone. There are large, shambling forms accompanying her -
} lawyers! It is not unexpected for an ex-wife in the wild to be
} surrounded by one or more of these parasites, but it is always a
} surprise to see them. He aims again and fires! Damn, hit a lawyer.
} That's ok though, it's always open season on lawyers and there's no
} limit. But now the others are scattering. *BLAM* He quickly fires
} again and this time hits the target!
} Now that he has killed the ex-wife what will he do with it? Many men
} quickly stuff and mount their kills, but trust me stuffing and mounting
} is much more fun with a live woman.
} So there you have it. You should keep in mind, of course, that similar
} fees and limits apply to the hunting of ex-husbands, so be sure to wear
} something bullet proof.
} You owe the Oracle 50% of your posessions, unless you remembered to
} draw up a pre-question agreement.