} Well, it's nice to know I'm appreciated, you grovel-less swine,
} and thanks for writing back. Now for those of you out there in
} the Oracular Congregation who don't know what we're talking
} about, I'd like to introduce Nervel the Grovel-less Swine,
} questioner #Qa23499, who once approached the Oracle on bended
} knee to ask a question, praise Gawd. The Oracle bent down to
} touch this poor dipstick, brothers and sisters, and a MIRACLE
} happened on this very tel-uh-vision network.
} Now, friends, reach out and touch your computer screen, and pray
} along with me as our dear friend Nervel gives his touching
} Nervel: I, um, I didn't used to get a lot of girls...
} Oracle: YES! Praise Gawd. Go on, brother...
} Nervel: [wipes nose on back of hand] And, um, and I had a real
} problem with body odor? And technique, and stuff?
} Oracle: Did you hear that, brethren? He had a short schlong,
} too, didn't you brother Nerval?
} Nervel: Yeah! And I didn't know how to use it. So I came to
} Oracle and I groveled, and, um...
} Oracle: What happened then, brother?
} Nervel: And I gave him a donation and became a Lifetime Oracular
} Outreach Partner...
} Oracle: Bless God. As you give so shall it be multiplied back
} unto you.
} Nervel: And then he answered my question. And I stopped
} smellin' so bad! And I got a life! And my schlong
} grew and I knew how to use it! And Lisa came to me
} in a dream and told me what women want! Gosh golly,
} Oracle, you know what? As always, you were RIGHT AGAIN!
} Oracle: Hallelujah! Honolulu! Glory, cash and more glory, this
} is a great day in the life of this poor, pitiful sap,
} isn't that right friend.
} ```ZAP!''' [Nervel turns into a goat and is sacrified at the
} Oracle: Too bad I don't give a shit.
} You owe the Oracle some of your manna cast on the waters in
} small, unmarked bills.