} The best-seller lists have a habit of shifting around from week to
} week, so the best I can do for you is to run down a list of some of my
} favorites from the past year:
} 1) "The Toasteroven of Shanara" by Terry Brooks: The latest in the
} famed series of fantasy novels, this one has the forces of good and
} evil battling over kitchen appliances of awesome power.
} 2) "Worm-fodder" by Robert Heinlein: The long awaited sequel to
} "Grumbles From the Grave". From his coffin, Heinlein explores his
} feelings about being deceased.
} 3) "City of the Future" by Jane Auel: The latest book of the "Children
} of the Earth" series, which also includes "Clan of the Cave Bear",
} "Valley of the Horses", "Hunt of the Mammoth", and several others.
} Ayla and her mate Jondalar, having discovered fire, domesticated the
} first animals, founded Atlantis, discovered agriculture, and
} invented the spear-thrower now invent a time machine and travel to
} modern day New York, where they are killed by a roving band of
} 4) "Wearing a Tartan Kilt" by Piers Anthony: Book 217 of the
} "Incarnations of Immortality" series, featuring Angus McArnold, who
} becomes the minor Incarnation of Bagpipe Music and spoils a plot by
} Satan to take over the Universe.
} 5) "Grout" by Stephen King: A shocking and suspenseful tale of horror
} about a colony of bathroom tile mildew that develops sentience and
} takes over a sleepy New England town.
} 6) "What Are the Owls?" by Thomas Harris: In this sequel to "Red
} Dragon" and "Silence of the Lambs", FBI agent Clarise Starling
} enlists the aid of Director David Lynch in tracking down a
} psychopathic killer who places letters under the fingernails of his
} 7) "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Dimensions" by Douglas Adams:
} When our universe is destoyed to make way for an interdimensional
} bypass, Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Trillian, and
} Slartibartfast find themselves homeless and trapped in a series of
} alternate histories.
} 8) "This Book Sucks But You'll Probably Buy It Anyway" by Jackie
} Collins: Amazingly similar to other best-selling books by Collins.
} 9) "Unearthed Arcana" by Umberto Eco: A huge volume filled with highly
} obscure information that Eco compiled in monestary libraries that
} have been sealed up for centuries. The plot is so complicated that
} the publisher has packeged the book with a free set of Cliff's
} 10) "Foundation and Eggplant" by Isaac Asimov: The next step along the
} way to establishing a galactic utopian society in Asimov's future
} history. The Second Foundation uses a recipe for eggplant parmisian
} that has been preserved for millenia by the robots of Earth for use
} against the Gaeans.
} You owe the Oracle a new library card.