} Well, in just a thousandth of a picosencond, the Oracle got file, lie,
} if, fie, and ilfe (don't ask, you'll understand soon) out of LIFE.
} But somehow I think you wanted a different answer. So grovel next
} <Auto-Lisa interrupt number G276>: I think you place far too much
} importance on debasement. Answer the question better.
} Now why did I ever teach her how to program in C for the Unix shell?
} Alright, a better answer.
} Have you ever wondered exactly *why* you aren't getting enough out of
} life? Do you think there's some massive conspiracy against you, or are
} you finally ready to admit it's your fault? Now look here, I can't
} exactly describe your daily activities as maximizing life's potentials,
} or for that matter even barely interesting. I mean, if you want more
} out of life, you have to be prepared to get up off your fat behind and
} actually TRY to get something! What in khel do you expect to get just
} handed to you? WHAT???
} <Auto-Lisa interrupt number R12>: Orrie dear, I think you need to
} Ah, er, excuse me. Got a little out of hand there. Uhhh, but you
} needed it! Yeah, that's right! It was just one of those thingies, a
} motivational thingy, that kind of thing where I needed to give you some
} sort of psychological shock to your system to make you realize what's
} happening. Yes, that must have been it. Of course, since I am
} omniscient, I knew that all along. In fact, this paragraph has been
} part of that scheme, and I dare you to prove that it hasn't. So there.
} <Auto-Lisa interrupt number I69>: Now that you have some spare time,
} Orrie dear, I'm waiting in the bedroom...
} Oh yes, *that's* why I taught her...
} You owe the Oracle a psych textbook, a dozen roses, and a case of