} Well let's see ...
} (The delicate strains of Sweet Child O' Mine waft over the PA.)
} Here we are at the first World Wrestling and Classical Music
} Federation bout for the year. In one corner we have 'The Stinging
} Bees' in Beethoven and Brahms. In the other corner the new team
} of 'Wolfman' Mozart and 'Swan Lake' Tchaikovsky, who really needs
} to find a better name. We can expect a close contest here, and no
} matter who wins, the real winner here will be classical
} wrestling. As they start, it's Beethoven and Mozart in the ring.
} Beethoven charges, but Mozart sees him coming and ducks, grabs
} his leg and flips him onto the canvas. Beethoven is shaken, but
} gets up. The Wolfman moves quickly, and now has Beethoven in a
} half-Nelson. Beethoven struggles free, and raises his arms. He
} brings down his arms and ... da da da duuum. Beethoven's 5th!
} Mozart is reeling at the blow. Beethoven tags, so now it's
} Brahms. Brahms lifts his arms, and the music starts. A cry comes
} out from the crowd:
} 'What's that racket?'
} 'Racket? That's no racket, that's Brahms! Brahms' third racket!'
} Mozart is in trouble now. Brahms moves in, but Mozart tags.
} Tchaikovsky is in. He lifts his arms and ... it's the Nutcracker
} Suite! Brahms clutches his groin in agony, tears welling from his
} eyes. A low blow from Tchaikovsky there .. no, wait! He's going
} to play something else! Is it the 1812 overture? No! It's ... oh
} my goodness ... it's Peter and the Wolf! This is too much! Brahms
} can't take it! He falls to the ground, with a nauseous look on
} his face, and passes out. Tchaikovsky moves in for the hold ...
} one, two, three ... and Mozart and Tchaikovsky have defeated the
} highly fancied Stinging Bees! Referee Axl Rose lifts the
} triumphant winners' hands into the air. But this is a sad day for
} wrestling indeed, when such underhanded tactics need to be used
} to win a wrestling match. Even now Brahms is being carried off on
} a stretcher ...
} Well there's your answer: Mozart and Tchaikovsky. Reminds me of the
} time the London Philharmonic Orchestra played Handel ... and lost.
} You owe the Oracle a spell checker.