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21 Sep 2017 home : about : create : digests : bestofs : specials : priests 5:05:46 GMT

Internet Oracularities #408

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Usenet Oracularities #408    (26 votes, 3.1 mean)
Compiled-By: "Steve Kinzler" <kinzler@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 92 09:02:03 -0500

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Send your ratings of these Oracularities on a scale of 1 = "not funny"
to 5 = "very funny" with the volume number to oracle-vote on iuvax, eg:
   408
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

408   26 votes 7a621 34f31 17d41 12aa3 37880 226a6 07982 28547 11978 56c30
408   3.1 mean  2.2   2.8   2.9   3.5   2.8   3.6   3.2   3.2   3.8   2.5


408-01    (7a621 dist, 2.2 mean)
Selected-By: Christopher Pettus <cep@apple.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh great Oracle who knows all there is to know about Zagnut bars,
> etc...,
>
> My question is:
>
>       Why do people park in driveways and drive in parkways?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oracle.
}
}    I think, my pious neophyte, your question should refer not to people
} but rather to suits.  These are of course the main users of both
} driveways and parkways, certainly of the CO belching beasts they seem to
} require for all but the most menial of tasks (eg.  ordering steak
} dinners and manhattans, frequenting hookers, etc, etc...).
}    Driveways conjure up images of the suburban wastelands that are the
} habitat of the horny toed suit.  Parkways, by extension of the metaphor,
} are the migration routes from this habitat to the inner city ( read
} *civilisation* ).  The horny toed suit can be found (at any time!)
} travelling along these routes.
}    An excellent example of the horny toed suit is presented in the novel
} "MONEY" by Martin Amis.  Although the suit here presented is of the
} British variety, he is certainly worthy of inclusion in the North
} American flock and his habits closely mirror those of his transatlantic
} cousins.
}    Of course to park in driveways is a mean and evil example of just how
} insidious the automobile manufacturers are and illustrates superbly the
} conspiratorial nature of their existence.  A park is supposed to be a
} beautiful, quiet, green place to go and relax, play frisbee, Acky Sac
} and baseball, drink beer and other intoxicants, etc., so the murderous
} lot at GM, Chrysler and Ford (this was before the evil Japanese
} manufacturers invaded, and anyway their word for driveway is difficult
} to spell with the limited ASCII character set and you would probably
} have a hard time pronouncing it anyway) thought that it would be a good
} idea to spread the usage of park as a verb.
}    Similarly, to drive on parkways shows how city planners are involved
} in this conspiracy (through kickbacks and the like).  These "planners"
} are those responsible for the so-called parkway, which was thus named
} since ALL parkways slice right through as many parks as hu-personly
} possible (excuse the political correctness).  This calls for a short
} anecdote.
}
}    "Which WAY should we put this big mother of a road?," asked Joe the
} nasty city planner.  "We should put it through that PARK over there,"
} answered his evil cohort Jack.  "I just thought of something," Joe
} responded, being quick on his feet, for a suit, "we should call it a
} PARKWAY!".  Of course this was greeted with a chorus of YEH's!  (One of
} several words that city planner/suits are good at.) After that the
} automobile executives (read *$1000 suits*) with their mean, pinched,
} bitter, evil faces (Thanks for W.S.  Burroughs) handed over big money to
} Joe and Jack and the other cohorts earlier mentioned.  Dave Berry told
} me that this was TRUE!  (Usually Dave consults me but once and a while I
} let him give me some advice just so that he doesn't get cranky).
}
} You owe the Oracle a Thanksgiving dinner of Horny Toed Suit (Blech!).
} On second thought, NAAAA, it probably tastes like sh*t since it has no
} taste.
}
} Nice day,
}
} Steeve


408-02    (34f31 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: DAVIS@licr.dn.mu.oz.au

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle, master of all minds, source of all Cheez Whiz, tell me:
>
> Which came first, the chicken or the Wenkel rotary engine?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, the Wenkel engine, of course! Let's see if I can find
} the footage of that fateful day in my databanks:
}
} % search -v -a -x -s -u -c -k -s Wenkel
} search: < whirr, churn, seek, read, write, i/o, blend, puree >
} search: < beep >
} The film you requested is #8948687687646876873.438623
}
} Hmm... seems to have found it. Let play it back:
}
} % play #8948687687646876873.438623
}
} DR> Igor, come here, I want you!
}
} IGOR> Duh, yes doc?
}
} DR> Igor, my new Wenkel engine is finished! Throw the switch to run it
}     for the first time!
}
} Igor> Duh, ok. But, doc? What is a weener engine?
}
} DR> You knucle skull! Don't ask stupid questions! How am I supposed
}     to know what a Wenkel engine is? I just made the damn thing! Now
}     turn it on like a good [brain dead, hunchbacked, slobbering]
}     assistant and let's see what it is.
}
} Igor> Duh. OK. <Click. Whirr, sputter, die, wheeze, cough, puke, die >
}       Duh. Doc? That didn't sound too good.
}
} DR> Of course not, you, you, you... you brain dead, hunchbacked,
}     slobbering idiot! Now just a second while I adjust the Wenkel...
}     <Squeek, clunk, pop> There, that should do it. Now flip the switch
}     again, Igor.
}
} Igor> Duh. OK. <Click. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm>
}
} DR> It works! I works! I can't believe it! It works! But, why is it
}     speeding up? It's getting out of control! Igor! Shut it off!
}     Quickly Igor! QUICKLY!
}
} Igor> Duh. Doc? Which one is off again?
}
} DR> THE RED ONE! THE RED ONE! PUSH IT!
}
} Igor> Duh. OK. You don't have to scream... I can hear you over the
}       weener engine just fine, although it's a bit loud.
}
} DR> Push the RED one!!!!!
}
} Igor> Duh. OK.
}
} <Click. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. POP! >
}
} DR> Oh no! The main casing cracked open! It got too hot! Igor! I told
}     you to push the button! Now my wonderful Wenkel engine (whatever it
}     was) is ruined.
}
} Igor> Duh. Sorry. Duh, Doc? What's that coming out of the weener
}       engine? It looks like a little turkey.
}
} DR> My God! Igor, you're right. It's a bird!
}
} Narrator> And that, boys and girls, is how the chicken was created.
}
} play: End of film
}
} % logout
}
} Well! There you have it. Not only do you know how the chicken was
} created, but also which came first, the chicken or the Wenkel engine.
}
} You owe the Oracle a text on the Wenkel engine and it's uses. Throw in
} a dead chicken too, or I'll <Zot> you.


408-03    (17d41 dist, 2.9 mean)
Selected-By: Christopher Pettus <cep@apple.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most wise Oracle, please gaze into your crystal ball and tell me,
> should I look for another job?
>
>   Yours,
>
>     Troubled

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       Troubled:  As I gaze down upon your puny little life I see you
} pondering the worth of your job.  Well, now there is a new, oracle
} sanctioned way to gauge your job satisfaction:
}       Start with 0 points
}       For each of th following questions answer yes or no:
} 1.  Does your job involve going on your knees on a regular basis?
} 2.  Are you sometimes glad that you can't open the window in your
}     office.
} 3.  Are there at least 10 different types of vice-presidents at
}     your job?
} 4.  Did your last raise come when Kennedy was president?
} 5.  To your co-workers shake their heads and shudder when they see you?
} 6.  Does the uniform for your job consist of a T-shirt and a paper hat?
} 7.  Do you find yourself being aroused by the concept of a good night's
}     sleep?
} 8.  Have you contemplated putting rat-poison in your boss' coffee?
} 9.  Do you use the Oracle to escape?
} 10. Do you find yourself carrying a coffee cup too and from work and
}     jingle change in it in hopes of getting enough to start that door to
}     door stationary buisiness?
}
} Scoring:
}       0-2:  What are you thinking?  Keep that job.  Work for free even!
}       3-6:  Only take a new job if it pays more or the bosses secratery
}             smiles at you
}       6-9:  Get out of there before you buy a gun and try to hijack
}             a bus to cuba.
}       10:   You're perfectly normal.  Keep your job.
}
} You owe the Oracle the 10,000 question purity test.


408-04    (12aa3 dist, 3.5 mean)
Selected-By: gt2126b@prism.gatech.edu (PETROSKY,WILLIAM T)

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why does my girlfriend opt for a fairly easy major (elementary
> education) and depend on my very hard major (chemical engineering) to
> support us in the futre?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} So you think you know from the future?  Silly presumptuous, mortal...
} Let's take a little trip shall we?  To the home of you and your wife-
} to-be about twenty years from now...
}
} <A spacious living room, tastfully decorated in early 21st century
} style>
}
} You: [Wearing an apron, coming out from the kitchen in response to the
}      sound of the door opening.  She's got you on a short leash, hasn't
}      she?]  Hello, dear, how was your day?  [A peck on the cheek?  Aw,
}      how cute!  You're going to be the very model of a male June
}      Cleaver!]
} Her: I made a killing on Geometry futures and sold short on Trig.  You
}      know, I think turning the American educational system over to an
}      exchange market was probably the best thing to ever happen to this
}      country.
} You: What about Chemistry?  How's the Chemistry market?
} Her: Sorry hon, it doesn't look good for you.  Ever since the
}      Japanese...
} You: No!  Don't say that word!  Aaaaaaaargh!  You know I can't stand to
}      hear the 'J-word'!  [Tsk, tsk, your psychiatric bills are going to
}      be a bit high, I would say.]
} Her: Don't worry, dear, you'll always be my little Chemical Engineer,
}      even if you never earn a dime from your expensive college degree.
}      Now, what have you... heh, heh... 'mixed up' in the kitchen
}      tonight? [Oooooooh!  She's got a nasty sense of humor, don't she?
}      Well, I think we've seen enough of this little scene; let's go
}      back to the present...]
}
} There, that's better.  And to think, I didn't even need a time machine
} that time!  You owe the Oracle a bowl of primordial soup with noodles.


408-05    (37880 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: Russell S Porter <porter@brahms.udel.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow ?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Your question is not specific enough.  The <AirSpeedVelocity> of
} <Animal:-Swallow><Laden:-no> is dependent on the following variables:
}
} <WrappedInElectricalTape:-boolean>
}
} Please resubmit your question.
}
} the Oracle.


408-06    (226a6 dist, 3.6 mean)
Selected-By: Joshua.R.Poulson@cyber.Widener.EDU

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh mighty Oracle: who has read all literature in all languages, and who
> knew who did what to whom using which in the where in every single
> whodunnit whole chapters before the detective or police, please, I beg
> you, answer my humble question:
>
> Who, what, when, why and for how long was Jean Kirkpatrik?
>
> (bonus tribute if you recognise the quote)

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} LOOK AT THIS STUDIO FILLED WITH FABULOUS PRIZES, JUST WAITING TO BE WON
} BY THE LUCKY CONTESTANTS IN AMERICA'S FIFTH FAVORITE <ZOT!> YEOUCH!!!
} ERR... SECOND FAVORITE <ZOT-ZOT!> I MEAN, AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME SHOW,
} STUMP THE ORACLE!!!
}
} [The camera pans across a wide display of expensive prizes, all of
} which are coated thickly with dust, as nothing has ever been won from
} the show.  Alex Trabek appears with a microphone in his hand, and
} stands next to the Oracle, who is seated in a position of honor (with
} Lisa lying across his lap).  Across the stage from them are three
} contestants, and behind them are the live studio audience.]
}
} Alex: Welcome to "Stump the Oracle".  Now, let's meet our three lucky
}    contestants.  Bill, Doug, and Luanne.  Bill, it says here that you
}    hold three doctorate degrees from Princeton?
}
} Bill: That is correct, Alex.  And another from Cape Cod Community
}    College in Oracular Queries.  In addition, I have a dental cert--
}
} Alex: Thank you, Bill.  Doug, it says here that you currently have no
}    job.  Would you care to elaborate on that?
}
} Doug: Certainly, Alex.  It just so happens that I am independently
}    wealthy and can do whatever I want, so instead of working I am
}    devoting my life to memorizing obscure trivia from library reference
}    books.
}
} Alex: Well, good for you.  Now, Luanne, I remember you from my other
}    show, "Jeopardy", where you were our all-time winner.  I understand
}    that you also hold the world record for asking the most consecutive
}    number of questions.
}
} Luanne: How did you find that out, Alex?
}
} Alex: And, of course, there is no need to introduce the entity sitting
}    next to me: hailing from Delphi and Parnasus, the Great USENET
}    Oracle.  Now, you are all aware of the rules, right?  You will all
}    submit a question, accompanied by an acceptable grovel, and if the
}    Oracle is unable to answer correctly, you win!
}
} Luanne: What happens if he does answer the question?
}
} Oracle: Then you lose... big time.  You owe the Oracle a double grovel
}    next time.
}
} Alex: Bill, you're up first.
}
} Bill: All right...  Oh Mighty Oracle, whose walrus is coated with gold,
}    whose bathtub has rings far-surpassing those of Saturn, whose belly-
}    button is filled to standing-room capacity...  What is the sound of
}    one hand clapping?
}
} Oracle: [Produces a small tape recorder and presses the play button.]
}
} Tape: Left hand: Cla-- Cla-- Cla--  Right hand: --ap, --ap, --ap...
}
} Oracle: You owe the Oracle all of your diplomas.
}
} Alex: Oh, I'm sorry, Bill, but we have some nice concellation gifts for
}    you back in the Green Room.  Now, Doug, what is your question?
}
} Doug: Powerful Oracle, who can calculate pi to the last decimal point,
}    who can count the atoms of the universe, and who can name the
}    farthest stars in the sky...  Can you come up with a question so
}    arcane and meaningless that even you can not answer it?
}
} Oracle: Hmmm...  Yes, as a matter of fact, I can: Who, what, when, why,
}    and for how long was Jean Kirkpatrik?  You owe the Oracle all of
}    your money.  Now go out and get a job, you bum!
}
} Alex: Ouch!  Sorry about that, Doug, but you won't leave the show
}    totally empty-handed.  You will receive a lifetime supply of Rice-a-
}    Roni, the San Francisco Treat, and a case of Tums.  Now, Luanne,
}    you are the only one left.  Are you ready to stump the Oracle?
}
} Luanne: Does the Pope wear a yarmulke?  Does Cecil Fielder spit?  Has--
}
} Alex: Right.  What is your question?
}
} Luanne: Mighty Oracle, whose brain is overflowing with abundant
}    knowledge, who, what, when, why, and for how long was Jean
}    Kirkpatrik?
}
} Oracle: Oooo...  Ummmmm...  Well...  Hey, wait a minute, that wasn't a
}    double-grovel!  <ZOT!>
}
} Alex: Oh, I'm sorry, it looks like you've been reduced to a pile of
}    smoking ash...  Well, that's all the time we have for today; tune in
}    tomorrow for another exciting episode of "Stump the Oracle"!!!
}
} Oracle: Come on, Lisa, let's go for Chinese.
}
} Lisa: But Orrie, what was the answer to that last question?
}
} Oracle: Lisa, dearest, there are some questions out there that even I
}    was not meant to answer.
}
} You owe the Oracle a version of the "Stump the Oracle" home game.


408-07    (07982 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: DAVIS@licr.dn.mu.oz.au

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> When the winter sun shines palely, palely,
> Doggedly struggling to warm the frozen earth;
> When ice lies all around me, my love,
> Will you warm me with your sweet breath?
>
> Or would you rather be a pig?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Oracle has always been fond of the scientific method.  Let's examine
} this question as well as we can:
}
} Category        | Love      | Pig
} ----------------+-----------+-----------------------
} Humanity        | Y         | N [1]
} Warmth [2]      | Y         | N
} Companionship   | Y         | N [3]
} Life Expectancy | ~75 years | Next Winter [4]
} Sex             | possible  | All day, every day [5]
}
} [1] This would be enough for most people to disqualify this choice.
}
} [2] The "warm fuzzies" type of warmth, not the "rolling in the mud on a
} Summer day" type of warmth.
}
} [3] Being as most people don't consider pigs much of a companion.
}
} [4] If [1] didn't disqualify "Pig" as a choice, perhaps this should.
}
} [5] This may, however, change people's minds...
}
} You owe the Oracle a romance novel written by pigs, for pigs.


408-08    (28547 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: DAVIS@licr.dn.mu.oz.au

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh, wise and mighty Oracle, whose flourescent shoelaces I am not fit to
> untie,
>
> Why do the skins of citrus fruits taste so bitter?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Otto: A fruit question.  Who will do it?
} Randy: No thanks.
} Andy: Citrus fruits?  Not me.
} Carl: Pffh.  I wouldn't even <ZOT> him.
} Lisa: Ernie, that one's for you.
} Ernie: Okay.  Dear questioner, since you not only know that I have
}     flourescent shoelaces, but also that 'flourescent' is written
}     'flourescent' and not 'fluorescent' (only a few wise people on
}     earth know that, and all dictionaries got it wrong), you will now
}     be let in THE SECRET OF THE USENET ORACLE.
}     I hope that you won't tell anyone, and of course this will never
}     get into the Oracularities.
} Carl: If you don't keep it for yourself, I <ZOT> you.
} Ernie: You will have noticed that instead of one Oracle, there are
}     seven people here who answer the question together.
}     Otto, Randy, Andy, Carl, Lisa and me had the idea for the whole
}     thing. Steve Kinzler is only a strawman, and that thing about how
}     the Oracle is supposed to work is facade.  In reality, *all*
}     questions are answered by us.  Yes, I know, you got a question to
}     answer, but that is a red herring. The question was a fake, and
}     your answer will never be read.  You know, the priests don't really
}     exist.  Since *all* our answers are good, we don't need that.
}     We are just ordinary humans, but very intelligent ones.  The
}     Oracle's omniscience is due to the fact that we are so many people.
}     What one doesn't know, another can answer it.
}     We have very different individual styles, and each of us will give
}     you a short description now.  Otto?
} Otto: I do the insider answers, with references to Douglas Adams, Monty
}     Python, Calvin and Hobbes, the Simpsons...you get the idea.  If you
}     don't understand at all why the answer is funny enough to make it
}     into the Oracularities, it's because I was referring to the famous
}     'Quick!  Call the Philatelist!' sketch from 'The Meaning of Brian'.
} Randy: If there is a reference to Lisa, that's me.  She is sort of...
}     my girl friend.
} Lisa: No, I'm not!  I wouldn't touch you with a vaulting pole!
} Randy: Some day you will learn to love me.
} Lisa: YUCK!
} Andy: I suppose that was enough to characterize Randy.
}     I do the lyrics.  Just now...
} Randy: Stop!  You can't let the questioner go with that impression of
}     me!  Really, I'm very good-looking, and I don't understand why Lisa
}     thinks (wrongly, of course) that she doesn't like me.
} Lisa: [snorts]
} Randy: Breathing heavily already?
} Lisa: NO!  Will you ever learn that you are creepy enough to make a
}     snail shudder?
} Randy: Ah!  Teasing our loved one, are we?
} Lisa: [stares at the wall, counts to ten silently]
} Andy: Finished?
} Randy: [nods]
} Andy: Fine.  As I said, I do the lyrics.
}     Just now I'm not in the mood, and furthermore citrus fruits are
}     not are lyrical subject.  There isn't even a word that rhymes
}     with 'orange'.
} Carl: If you hadn't grovelled, I would have burned you to a crisp.
}     I am the flamer here, and <ZOT> is my favorite word.  The second
}     one is <ZAP>.
} Lisa: I do short and snappy answers.
} Ernie: That was NOT snappy!
} Lisa: This answer is YOUR job, not mine.
} Ernie: Right.  If nobody knows the answer, it's always me who has to do
}     it.  I make long stories, that is, much talking between many
}     people, like parodies of talk shows, detective stories, etc.  The
}     purpose of this is: when you are through with reading the answer,
}     you have forgotten what the question was, and you don't notice that
}     it is never really answered.
}
}     You owe the Oracle a conspiracy theory.


408-09    (11978 dist, 3.8 mean)
Selected-By: Greg Wohletz <greg@duke.cs.unlv.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O               k               s               s
>  h             - n               h               h
>               l   o           :   o           r   o
>    w         l     w         e     u         o     u
>     i       a       i       l       l               l       ?
>      s               n     c         d     g         d     g
>       e   d           g   a               i               a
>          n               r             I z             I z
>         a               O

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I       u       o       o       r       e   .
}  t     r t     l r     f       e e     l    enimam
}       t   h   e   v       k   f   n   p   w      a
}    r       , t     e t     n f     c o     h     r
}     e               h       i       e       o    D
}    h a     f S     e C     d h     p ,
}   T   l   u   h               t           w      a
}        l r     e p     g y       o     b o  racle
}         y       r       n       t       u   O
}  .             o l     a i       o     l t   eht
}   y   g   d   b   o       g   n   n   d          e
}    a a     o l     c e     g i             y     w
}     w       e       k       a       d       o    o
}    k       m s     a ,     l z     i l     u
}   i   t       n   m       p       e   u          u
}  n     a t     '       i       n       o s       o
} g  rre  h  ffr  t  tio  s   yo  i  t's  h  nto.  Y
}    a l     o a     s n     r u     i       i
} a  b s       m     e       e         w
} t          y p     u i     h z     , h     n
}    e a     a s     q s     t i     g a     u
} thos t freew .  The  n't whe g or za t you r


408-10    (56c30 dist, 2.5 mean)
Selected-By: Greg Wohletz <greg@duke.cs.unlv.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>     Chain letter
>
> YOU have the chance to receive lots and lots
> of funny stories about dumb questionners which
> will make you laugh right across three big bangs.
>
> Just mail a copy of this letter  to the oracle on top of
> the list containing a funny behaivour of one of your questionners,
> edit the by erasing the top oracle and inserting yourself at the
> bottom.
>
> Top of list: sphinx@egypt.oracle.net
>              oracle-of-delphi@greece.oracle.net
>              merlin@camelot.oracle.net
>              slug-togath@lambda-grus-III.oracle.net
> Insert your name here .......
>
> Mail a copy of the letter to five of your oraculous buddies and
> after a while you will get 625 funny questionner-stories.
>
> Do not break this chain, bukka-black@rigel.oracle.net did it, and
> now he is posessed by newbies without grovelling in their questions.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} oracle.net% mail sphinx@egypt.oracle.net
} Subject: Chain Mail
} Cc: oracle-of-delphi@greece.oracle.net, merlin@camelot.oracle.net, slug
} -togath@lambda-grus-lll.oracle.net
}
} My comerades, I have received a message that is most troublesome.
} I here enclose it.
}
} -----Begin Cutting-----------
} >     Chain letter
} >
} > YOU have the chance to receive lots and lots
} > of funny stories about dumb questionners which
} > will make you laugh right across three big bangs.
} >
} > ...
} >
} > Do not break this chain, bukka-black@rigel.oracle.net did it, and
} > now he is posessed by newbies without grovelling in their questions.
} --------End-----------End------
}
} Now look, my friends, I know that you think that this whole "share your
} funny supplicant story" Thing is amusing, but to be honest, I get
} enough comic-relief mail to keep me rolling for hours on end. To be
} honest, oh my Fellow Soothsayers, it is the expression on their faces
} as I "ZOT!" them that makes me laugh. I am sure that you are all
} familiar with that sensation. (Particularly you, Merlin. :-)
}
} At any rate, I think that such letters are a flagrant waste of
} band.width to say nothing of straining my immortal attention span.
} However, if you really want to keep this thing going, please leave me
} out of it. I do _not_ wish to remain on your mailing lists. And I am
} not frightened by the threat of newbies. I'm quite used to it, having
} survived so many Septembers.
}
} Thank you, Oh my Fellow Knowlegeble Ones,
}
} The Usenet Oracle
} oracle@use.oracle.net
} EOT
} oracle.net% logout
}
} You owe the Oracle a five-year fit of sneezing, and also a Saint
} Christopher on a Chain [TM]


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