} The question you introduce, oh worthy mortal, has its roots deep in the
} creation of computing, when programmers were programmers, mainframes
} were mainframes, and the Timex Sinclair was a pretty neat piece.
} In the beginning all was formless and void main(int argc, char **argv)
} and the spirit of the Usenet Oracle swept across the transistors
} and said "Let there be Vacuum Tubes that mankind should learn to
} wire, and let them find the path to Univac." And it was so, and
} for awhile it was good. But the Oracle in his beneficence saw
} that programmers would not long be satisfied with his word (which
} was a mere 4 bits long), and spake he again "Let there be Multivac,
} Solid State Transistors, and VLSI." And he saw that this was indeed
} good. And the Orcale said further, "Let there be users for these
} marvels, and let them be fruitful and multiply."
} But soon the Oracle in his wisdom realized that the users needed
} guidance, and so he said "Let there be a system administrator, that
} the users need not know the pain of modifying termcap files, and
} let the system administrator have a helpmate, that he not succumb
} to the fallacy that *all* is programming." And so the sysadmin and
} his mate were created in the image of the Oracle and the beautific
} Now, the most wondrous of the creations of the Oracle were two
} operating systems, the fair Unix and the not-so-fair VMS. And VMS
} was ever jealous of the attention paid to Unix by the sysadmins, and
} spake VMS unto them: "Look, an Apple. It has 4k and can do 40x40
} color graphics! And Integer Basic is built in. Take this Apple for
} your own and ye shall be even as root itself!" And lo, the foolish
} sysadmins heeded the words of VMS, and forsaking Unix, sought to
} vie with even I, the all-powerful.
} Ashamed were the sysadmins when they realized that they must make do
} with cassette drives, and when the Oracle came to inquire as to why
} they had allowed users to do foolish things (yea, verily, alias vi
} emacs), the sysadmins hid from the Oracle. But the Oracle merely
} fingered them, and they came before him trembling. And for their sins
} did I pronounce a mighty curse on them, that they should know no grep
} until they had repented their association with VMS. And to VMS itself,
} I decreed that henceforth no Vax should harbor a portable getche()
} function, "For now ye shall toil for your error-free compilations."
} You owe the Oracle an on-line Gutenberg bible and a Vax C version of
} the Unix kernel.