} It's a question of evolution, really. Back in the good ol' days, when
} I was a younger Oracle (but no less wise, of course) elephants used to
} be carefree, happy creatures. Then along came Babar, Dumbo and all
} those other sellouts.
} The elephant is a sage, careful creature, much given to long
} quiet dustbaths in the savannahs, followed by a spot of cricket
} and a gin and tonic. (This is where the British got the idea too, but
} they're too pompous for dustbaths.) Anyway, picture your African
} Gentle-elephant. The very image of debonair good taste, in tails and
} tophat. All of a sudden the place is full of gawking tourists, and
} kiddies shouting "Look! Dumbo!", and hunters and such. What elephant
} would want to attract attention in these circumstances? The answer
} is obvious - only sellout running-dog lackey elephants, those with
} contracts with the big studios. The rest of elephant-kind removed their
} tophats, and tried to blend into the landscape, just waiting for the
} day. And yes, the day will come. A new dawn. A time where every
} elephant, regardless of ear shape or tusk size will be free to enjoy
} the simple pleasures that elephants everywhere once knew. A time where
} an elephant can be an elephant - Oh happy day! - without fear of being
} photographed, shot, pointed at, or imagined by drunks.
} And the tophats? Man will provide the tophats. Some will be ripped
} from the headless bodies of trampled circus MC's, some will be blown
} from the balding pates of mayors, some will come from places like
} Harrod's and Sak's. And they won't ne paying. Tophats are but a small
} part of the terrible price the human race will pay for its arrogance.
} You owe the Oracle the name of the guy who told Tarzan where the
} graveyard was.