} [Scene: Inside the Oracle's Question Screening Room, where hundreds of
} diligent employees sit at computer terminals, reading the questions,
} and passing only the most important ones on to the Oracle himself,
} giving the rest out to computer nerds around the world to answer. As
} the sweet sounds of The Who's "Pinball Wizard" fill the air, one
} diligent employee suddenly gasps, gets up, and runs off down the hall
} to the Oracle's main office, and bangs on the door.]
} "What is it, now?"
} "Oh magnificent Oracle, sir! One of the supplicants is asking
} about..." The nervous man gulps and continues. "... the stuff in the
} bottom of the drain..."
} "What? Who?" The Oracle turns to his own computer terminal (far
} better than the ones the employees use), punches a few keys, and reads
} the question. The Oracle shakes his head. "It looks like we have to
} take care of another one. I hate to do it, but he suspects far too
} much already, I can see. He can't be allowed to find out more about
} the stuff in the bottom of the drain! If he does, he'll soon discover
} the true nature of the Universe and will also have the knowledge and
} power to take it over. He must be stopped now!"
} "Yes, sir! How should we do it? A standard <ZOT>?"
} "No, no... We need to make it look like I had nothing to do with
} the poor sot's demise... Hmmm... What was that method we used a
} couple thousand years back to that Jewish kid who came so close to
} discovering the true nature of the Universe?"
} "Uh..." The man opens a huge file drawer, rifles through some
} papers, and pulls one out. "Here it is! You had him nailed to a
} wooden cross..."
} "Hmmm... No, that probably won't work too well today. Besides,
} it WAS rather tacky. What other methods have we used?"
} The man rifles through more papers. "Falling boulders...
} Parachute failing to open... Spontaneous combustion... Hey, here's a
} good one: computer terminal explosion!"
} "Perfect! The next time this nosey supplicant turns on his
} terminal, KABOOM!!!! Good, good, go set it up!"
} "Yes, sir! Right away!" The man runs off down the hall again.
} The Oracle sighs with relief. "It's a good thing we caught this
} guy when we did. The next thing you know, he'd be asking about duct
} tape, then he'd want to know just what 'cheese food' was, and before
} you know it he'd have figured out just how the Universe is constructed,
} and he'd be able to easily take it over, and I'd be out of a job..."
} The Oracle leans back, puts his feet up on his desk, cracks open a
} bottle of Budweiser, turns up "Magic Bus", and relaxes.