} Hoo boy. The Clinton administration will prove to be the most rocked by
} scandal of any administration ever. Please don't give them this whole
} list, but you may provide a hint of what is to come.
} Feb 19, 1993: President Clinton reveals that he once tried cocaine, but
} didn't snort too deeply.
} Mar 12, 1993: Hillary demands that "First Lady" become a full cabinet
} Jun 11, 1993: Republicans discover that not only did Clinton oppose
} American involvement in Vietnam, he actually fought for
} the Viet Cong.
} Sep 09, 1993: Clinton reveals that he once tried heroin, but he used a
} clean needle.
} Dec 02, 1993: Hillary demands that the First Lady be included in the
} succession, ahead of the Vice President.
} Apr 22, 1994: Republicans unveil that Ho Chi Minh was really Clinton in
} May 10, 1994: Clinton reveals that he once tried Communist propoganda,
} but he didn't understand it.
} Oct 11, 1994: The Hillary Coup: Mrs. Rodham-Clinton makes a failed
} attempt to take over the White House. President Clinton
} has her executed and replaces her with Gennifer Flowers.
} Jan 13, 1995: Republicans finally decrypt a 1991 coded telegram from
} Clinton to Saddam Hussein: "I'm with you all the way,
} Apr 01, 1995: Clinton reveals that he once tried murder, but he only
} stabbed once.
} Dec 07, 1995: Addressing a group of WWII vets, Clinton refers to,
} "those valiant and brave Japanese pilots who attacked
} Pearl Harbor." He later blames a slip of the tongue.
} Feb 02, 1996: Republicans unearth a private letter to a friend, in
} which Clinton refers to Adolf Hitler as, "My personal
} role model, who I will always admire and emulate."
} May 17, 1996: Clinton admits that he has tried bestiality, but the
} animals involved were all vertebrates.
} Jun 11, 1996: Clinton admits that he has tried necrophilia, but the
} body was fairly warm.
} Jun 13, 1996: Clinton admits that he has tried arson, but the building
} he torched was of little value.
} Jun 16, 1996: Clinton admits that he has tried rape, but she really
} enjoyed it.
} Jun 17, 1996: Clinton admits to mugging, pedophilia, kleptomania,
} Communism, racism, and once driving over the speed limit.
} Jun 20, 1996: Clinton denies ever trying LSD. Nobody believes him.
} Election Day, Clinton is re-elected in a landslide. The popular vote is
} 1996 243,975,237 to 2. Election fraud is suspected, but never
} And believe me, it gets worse in his second through his sixteenth
} You owe the Oracle a plane ticket out of the country.