} You, the humble supplicant, have asked me what happens next in your
} novel. I, the mighty oracle, shall now reply...
} There was a moment of silence, and then the figure stirred.
} With a noise like the sound of a thousand rabbits groaning, the mighty
} golem raised its ungainly bulk off the rough-hewn table upon which it
} lay. With a ponderous movement it turned its rather unnatractive head
} from side to side as it peered around the dim, dusty and cluttered lab.
} "Frankie baby," it exclaimed, "you gotta get me OUT of here!"
} The mighty monster began to pace back and forth across the lab.
} "How could they do this to me?" it muttered. "What am I doing here?
} Shelly's monster gets to be in a famous Gothic novel. Post-grad
} literature theses, the lot! Even the MGM deal was beter than this...
} on some crummy computer network? I mean, what is this shit? Usenet?
} What the hell is that? Usenet?"
} Igor and Viktor watched aghast as the ungainly figure pulled a mobile
} phone out of it's pocket.
} "Monster!" demanded Viktor in a commanding tone. "What are you doing?"
} "Relax Frankie, just relax" tossed off the monster. "I'm calling my
} agent is all. So cool it, right? This was never in no contract, so
} don't try to pull anything on me."
} The monster turned to speak into his phone.
} "Oracle? What crap are you talking about? Oracle Shmoracle! I don't do
} no oracle!"
} Suddenly this scene was interrupted by a heavy banging on the sturdy
} oaken doors that secured Viktor Frankenstein's lab.
} A vast rumbling and banging came from outside.... the villagers had
} come, waving torches, armed with pitchforks and shotguns, to wipe the
} unnatural monster of the face of the earth.
} "It taint be natural, squire", said the leader of the mob to the
} Doctor. "We w what be down in the village, we don't t'ink much of what
} you be doing up here.
} T'e old mill stream been run dry since you startet wit your
} expery-mints up 'ere at t'e old Keep."
} "Aye, and our cow's milk all be dried up" interjected one shrivelled
} old crone.
} Another rustic ruddy-faced villager stepped forward.
} "Aye, and it was said not but that two, _two_ mark ye, calfs were
} birthed down on the common only last night, and both of them had two
} heads apiece! What be ye saying to that!"
} The wailing of the trees reached down to them. It hovered about with
} claws, waiting to catch what it could. Only dark rustlings, the leaves,
} branches whipping through the disturbed night.
} Everyone turned their faces to the cold night air, alive with the
} sudden realisation that evil hovered only seconds away.
} The monster gave an inarticulate roar. It turned away, lumbered into
} the lowering night. The flaming torches semed much dimmer now, seemed
} to flicker on the verge of going out. The villagers looked around. Who,
} now, was brave enough to follow the monster into the night? Instead
} they turned their torches to the ancient wooden beams of the old keep,
} to burn away the unnaturalness, destroy the womb of the twisted bastard
} offspring, the progeny of the doctor's demented lust for immorality.
} Viktor and Igor perished in the fire.