} Foolish Mortal,
} I will answer by way of a fable. Once, a long time ago (as
} computers go these days...) there was a humble devoted servant of the
} almighty deity D'allah. This servant, who we will call Bill, crawled
} out from under a rock and realized that the Big Blue Giant was
} searching for a soul. While the Big Blue Giant had a brain, and
} memory, and all the usual Giant accompaniments, he had no soul to
} speak of. (He did have drive, though. Two of them, in fact.)
} So humble, devoted Bill talked soothingly to the Giant, and in
} return for the Giant not eating him, among other things, Bill agreed to
} create a soul for the Big Blue Giant. When the Giant's soul was
} finished, Bill looked at it and said: "Dumb Old Sucker," and quickly
} forced it upon the Giant.
} The Giant, fooled into beleiving that the new soul was better
} than the old one that he had actually had since Creation, even though
} it was a shallow copy with a mere improvement or two, began to romp
} around the countryside telling all his brothers and sisters to get the
} new soul.
} Humble, devoted Bill asked each and every Giant (even though
} some were downright small) for a small token in return for a new soul,
} and soon, he was rolling in it. He had never been closer to D'allah.
} A time came, however, when the Big Blue Giant looked at Bill
} and said, in what was to be a remarkably prophetic statement,
} especially for a Giant: "You stink, Bill." The other giants merely
} scoffed the Big Blue Giant, saying that Bill's souls were the Best.
} In a few years, Bill had amassed a great number of tokens,
} and, seeing that the Giants were all revelling in his retread souls
} (which he would update every so often, for a price), he decided to
} augment his already lucrative services. In addition to tired old
} souls, he began foisting off quickly and poorly conceived additions.
} These he gave sharp, small names, like Access, so that the Giants
} could all remember them.
} However, in his hurry to become close to D'allah, he neglected
} to be sure that they would not compete with each other. So quickly
} hashed together were Bill's new things that Bill did not have time to
} even read the descriptions his minions, now doing all the work for
} none of the reward, had written to allow the Giants, who should have
} known better, to use the extra things. The results were catastrophic.
} The Giants soon were unable to talk to each other, since the options
} they had gotten from Bill varied so much from Giant to Giant, let
} alone from version to version, and the Giants all found themselves
} slow and fat from the demands of the new things from Bill.
} To make a long, boring fable short and boring, Bill was turned
} upon by the Giants, who demanded that he withdraw all his souls and
} additions that caused great strife and bickering between them, and
} went around the corner to a man called The Wizard, where the same
} thing happened all over again, without the Giants even questioning
} MORAL: If you're going to screw the Giants (even the little
} ones) be sure you have a monopoly.
} Thus, foolish mortal, you can see that you are just one User
} in a vast sea of Users who, tired of chewing on Microsoft fatware that
} is too big, too slow, incompatible and poorly documented, needs to go
} off the see the Wizard.
} You owe the Oracle a working version of LAN Manager 2.1.