} Ah, a curious question! I wish I knew the motive or catalyst behind
} this inquiry. I must assume that either a) you already have children
} and they are driving you nuts, or b) either your parents or spouse are
} pressuring you to procreate. Well, to answer these little basic life
} questions I like to refer My supplicants to the Bible According To God.
} Most of you supplicants have your own Bible--this version tells us what
} REALLY happened during those first six crazy days of creation.
} "And God said, 'Yea, let these funny little bipeds that I have
} created for My own amusement possess an incurable and insatiable sex
} drive, that will force them to couple and thus procreate. And thus
} they shall have many children, and so populate the earth. But because
} I have created them with free will, some will not desire children.
} They will then create many forms of contraception, which some of My
} followers will denounce, thinking I condemn them for it. But for those
} who desire children, they shall have them--and when their children are
} growing, they shall go through what psychologist will call "difficult
} times", during which they shall drive their parental units bonkers. And
} I shall laugh with amusement, for this pattern shall repeat itself
} througout the ages, with each generation.
} "And God added, 'Then, too, shall the parents of the grown
} children again desire to care for young children again, and so, being
} past the time for making children, they shall nag their children to
} again procreate. And this pattern shall also repeat itself througout
} the ages. And again I shall laugh. For these humans are a constant
} source of amusement.'"
} You owe the Oracle a leatherbound copy of Dr. Spock's Guide to Baby