} Well, hungry mortal, I actually have an entire room full of paid
} employees working to determine that precise number. I doubt that they
} have a final figure just yet, but I can let you peek at the transcript
} of our last few interviews with several of the workers.
} Questioner: And what is your name?
} Worker: Thor.
} Questioner: Thor, how many pieces of fruit have you found today?
} Thor: Nine thousand and three.
} Questioner: And what flavor bar were you checking?
} Thor: Vanilla.
} Questioner: ...and you found...
} Thor: Nine thousand and three pieces of fruit.
} Questioner: ...in a vanilla bar.
} Thor: yes.
} Questioner: ...I see. Well thank you. Next!...and what is your name?
} Worker: Lola.
} Questioner: And how many pieces of fruit have you found today?
} Lola: Um... you'd be the third.
} Questioner: er...Next!.... and your name is?
} Worker: Shane (burp)
} Questioner: And how many pieces of fruit did you count today?
} Shane: Um...(burp)...twenty four. 'Scuse me.
} Questioner: that's IT?
} Shane: (burp) dude, I'm eating as fast as I can.
} Questioner: Eating??
} Shane: The pieces of fruit... thats what you hired me to do, right?
} Questioner: Oh my G*d... next?... and you are?
} Worker: Pat.
} Questioner: and... do you... count fruit here?
} Pat: yes.
} Questioner: in... fruit bars?
} Pat: yes.
} Questioner: well congratulations.... um, how many have you found today?
} Pat: Oh, today was my day off.
} Unfortunately that ended our line of questioning as our interviewer
} chose that exact moment to hurl himself out the window. It was only a
} first floor window, granted, but the microphone broke upon impact. So
} you see, fruit bar fans, we're working diligently to answer *all* of
} your questions, no matter how inane. And we *will* have answers for
} you. To this question... and others. But not only that. We're working
} to bring fruit bars wher they've never gone before. Have you ever
} reached into your radio and found a fruit bar? Your tv? Your stereo?
} your dishwasher? Have you ever used a fruit bar as an umbrella? plugged
} one into a modem? Well, you will. And the Oracle that will bring it to
} you... AT&T.
} You owe the Oracle. And don't you forget it. Burp.