} O most lowly of supplicants, ye whose ignorance is verily an abyss of
} such immeasurable depths so as to utterly surpass the greatest canyons
} in the lands that have been soiled by your feet, the deepest trenches
} in the oceans upon which has sailed Man, yea, even the vastness of the
} voids of space, into which the eyes of all mankind have peered for all
} time and yet seen naught of what is real; Behold!, as for a moment I
} draw aside the veil of mystery and unravel for you the arcane truths
} that lie behind the answer to all questions such as yours.
} Electricity, as even such as you are likely to know, will flow through
} metal, of which powerlines are made, in the form of free electrons.
} The speed with which these electrons move, the direction of movement,
} and the quantity of moving electrons are the major factors that combine
} to form what you know as "current". You learned all of this in your
} physics courses, and it is indeed truth.
} Now, O supplicant, you have undoubtedly been informed by persons
} speaking with great authority that the utility companies pump
} electricity into one end of the powerlines, and that your computer,
} which you spend entirely too much time on, by the way, sucks out that
} electricity, which is what you pay for every month. You have, no
} doubt, also been told that modern electricity, unlike primitive
} electricity, the production of which required the frequent skinning of
} cats and gathering of petrified tree sap, is of the "alternating
} current" type, which means that there is no real movement of charge
} through the powerline, only oscillations in the concentration of
} These oscillations, however, are not, as you have been led to believe
} by the many menbers of the Conspiracy, caused by the utility company to
} which you pay such outrageous sums of money every month. No, the
} oscillations, the very very miniscule oscillations that cause charge
} concentrations to fluctuate and, thereby, electricity to flow, are, and
} this is the Revelation, CAUSED BY THE CONSTANT MOTION OF BIRDS LANDING
} ON AND TAKING OFF FROM POWERLINES. So, you see supplicant, the birds
} are not in any danger from being electrocuted by electricity but,
} rather, are the sole manufacturer thereof. The utility company, and
} this is the Second Revelation, actually GETS ELECTRICITY OUT OF BOTH
} ENDS OF THE POWERLINE, since the oscillations start at the birds'
} location and spread outwards towards the homes of consumers like
} yourself. Many powerlines actually are not in any way connected to
} power companies, generators, or power plants, but rather attach
} directly to consumer households at both ends.
} And now, O supplicant, I grow weary of explicating the workings of your
} tiny, insignificant universe. More important matters demand my
} You owe the Oracle the skin of Schroedinger's cat, a rod of amber
} containing mosquitoes with dinosaur DNA, and seven free electrons.