} O dear mortal, when will you learn?
} How can you appreciate good without evil?
} How can you appreciate summer without winter?
} How can you appreciate life without death?
} How can you appreciate good humor without the Oracle?
} How can...hey, what are y
} [sounds of struggle]
} Sorry. He sometimes gets on the line while I'm on lunch.
} Let me assure you, dear mortal, that I am, in fact, the true Oracle.
} Now then, how can you appreciate good humor without t...hey!
} [sounds of struggle again]
} Terribly sorry. Sometimes the patients from the mental ward escape
} and they have a way of making their way over here. Anyway, just to
} dispel any doubt as to the fact that I am, in fact, the true Oracle,
} allow me to show you my Oracle's license. There. Now then,
} How can you appreciate good humfdsgfgdh
} [sounds of further struggling]
} Sorry about all this. This is just a test I sometimes run to monitor
} your reaction to unusual statements made by entities you perceive to
} be the Oracle. Let's proceed.
} Now, you've got her legs on the mantelpiece, you...
} Bloody British types! Plagarizing Monty Python no less!
} Sorry about all...
} Hello, you have reached the terminal of the one, the only, the
} omniscient Oracle. I am not, however, omnipresent at the moment,
} but if you would leave your name, BITNET address, and question at
} the sound of the beep, I will get back to you as soon as divinely
} possible. Naturally, if you have recieved any messages prior to
} this recording, please ignore them. Escapees from Tau Ceti Bellvue,
} and all that. And one more thing. Consider this: How can you
} appreciate quality humor without something to contrast it to, such
} as the Or...
} You owe the Oracle a better lock on the terminal room door.