627-09 (1dtf7 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: RICH MCGEE <MCGEE@nic.CSU.net>
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> Oh wondrous Oracle, who not only knows how many angels can dance on the
> head of a pin, but has also derived a hypothetical expression relating
> angel-density to the composition of the pin-head. Who's merest
> thoughts are more complex than Bolivia's air-defense system. I beg of
> you to take pity on me, a poor ignorant supplicant who is in dire need
> of an answer.
> My question, oh seer of all, is this.
> How many chu...er.. Sorry. Wrong page.
> Ah, here we are:
> My question, that is, my REAL question, is this:
> My girlfriend lives 4 hours away, yet alas; neither of us have cars.
> Public transportation, while available, grows costly.
> How may I spend more time with my love while at the same time not
> spending next term's tuition?
> I await your wisdom....
} It seems to me that you have several options. They are listed below,
} in no apparent order:
} - The Romeo and Juliet option: You both arrange a time when you will
} both take lethal poison and die together. Unfortunately, this hasn't
} been proven to bring you closer together, and does have the side
} effect of negating whatever life you may have had together.
} - The Surrogate Lover option: For a nominal fee, one of you can rent
} someone to be there when the other can't.
} - The Shirley McLaine option: Learn to have out-of-body experiences
} together. Distances are of little concern on the astral plane and
} you'll get a kick out of actually being able to merge. Don't let that
} silver cord break, though, whatever you do.
} - Telepathy: Tune in to each other's thoughts. Does have the
} drawback of letting the other person know everything and anything
} you're thinking of at the moment, so if you don't want any
} misunderstandings, sit in a darkened room and don't you dare think of
} sexy models you've seen recently.
} Or you could do the more conventional things like writing passionate
} love letters everyday detailing just exactly how much you miss one
} another, or you could go into debt with AT&T talking on the phone.
} You owe the Oracle a dozen long-stemmed roses and a box of chocolates.
} Nuts and chewies, none of those cream centers.