} Oh supplicant most wise-cracker:
} Never fool with Murphy, for He supersedes Nature, even in Her Infinite
} Verily, the strap shall break on the way down. And the piece of toast
} shall proceed to fall faster than the cat (DON'T give me that jive
} about Gallileo, this is higher stuff!) and shall indeed land on the
} expensive carpet buttered side down. The cat will fall on its feet,
} directly on the piece of toast, thus grinding it well into the fabric
} of the carpet (which you could've sworn you remembered to roll away
} before the experiment!).
} In your desparate attempts to clean up the $2,000 rug, the vacuum will
} suddenly reverse action and spew out all of the dirt which has
} accumulated in it over the last few months (and just yesterday you were
} going to replace the bag, dammit!). So you call up the salesman, only
} to discover that the warranty has expired yesterday. You try to fix it
} yourself, and of course the moment you have taken the fine machinery
} apart is when the screwdriver drops out of your hand onto your big toe.
} You jump and cry out in agony, scattering the tiny screws and nuts
} into the least-accessible corners of the workshop, except for the
} largest one which is eaten by the cat. The spare screwdriver was lent
} to your neighbour last week, and he has just left for a month's
} vacation in the Bahamas.
} Ergo: Ask not which side things land on: this side or that side, Nature
} and Murphy are never on *your* side.
} You owe the Oracle $2.50 for the toast, $75 for the vet, $100 for
} medical expenses (wounded toe), $200 for the carpet cleaners, and $200
} for a new vacuum cleaner. You owe Murphy an apology. You owe Nature
} your existence.