689-07 (lvy72 dist, 2.3 mean)
Selected-By: firstname.lastname@example.org (William T. Petrosky)
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> Oh, Oracle, please answer this rhetorical question for me.
> Let's say that at one time I was a superhero, leading a team of
> superheroes battling evil. Now, let's say that there was a huge
> battle, which had superheroes of the world on both sides, each fighting
> for what they believed in. Let's further say that one of the members
> of my team, and a good friend of mine, was on the other side and shot
> me three times through the chest with a .50 caliber gatling gun, and I
> barely pulled through thanks to the assistance of some magical healers
> Let's say that after this, I decided to drop out of the superhero biz.
> I was somewhat depressed, can you blame me? But now, let's imagine
> that there's this mad bomber running around my college campus, and my
> roommate says that I'm the only one who can stop him. But it's so
> depressing...I was a hero before, and look what it got me.
> If a situation such as this were to arise, what would you have me do?
} Hurmph. Well, right off, you lose 3 Brownie Points for not grovelling.
} What do you think this _is_, a free ride?! I mean, sure, you've got
} _your_ problems, but they _pale_ in comparison to mine! I've got to
} answer thousands of questions every day, from whining little snots like
} you, and most of you just _dump_ your questions on me! No, "Please oh
} Mighty Oracle", or, "If you wouldn't mind, Mr. Oracle" -- oh no, it's
} allways "Tell me:". Humph.
} Okay! I'm not going to get angry... I'm not going to get angry... I'm
} the Oracle! The _Usenet_ Oracle! And that still means something,
} goshdarnit! I'm... I'm a symbol to the aspiring masses! The symbol of
} all they could be! A symbol of all that is Pure and Cool in the world.
} And, coincidentally, kid, so are you -- you were a hero, and like it or
} not, people look up to you now... You've gotta get back on the horse,
} kid. You can't let a little thing like a sucking chest wound get to ya!
} You can't let all those people down, dangit!
} And, I mean, come on. With firepower like a .50-cal MG, do you really
} think a lil' old mad bomber would be a problem?
} You owe the Oracle a complete set of 'Team M.E.C.H.A.' Trade
} Ether-Backs. And, come to think of it, that .50-cal machinegun would
} look great on my wall...