} Steven Spielberg has them at Amblin Studios. He needs them for
} his latest movie.
} Steve is working on the sequel for _Jurassic Park_. Despite the
} success of the first one, it seems that the idyllic Isla Nublar wasn't
} familiar enough to audiences, so JP][(tm) will take place, in part, in
} a suburban neighborhood. This is why he needed your neighborhood, as
} he destroyed the last such available neighborhood in _Poltergeist_.
} The plot of the movie is reminiscent of the enormously successful
} Godzilla movies, except it will be done on a scale never before seen,
} and the reptiles will instead be attacking the U.S. instead of Tokyo.
} (Inside sources at Universal say this is at the firm request of
} Universal's parent company, Matsushita. Something to do with "it's
} about $(JAPANESE_EXPLETIVE)ing time...")
} Here are some highlights from the story outline, which I lifted
} from the Amblin computers (Steve may be a magnificent filmmaker, but he
} doesn't know jack about computer security). The script is still a work
} in progress, and as such is provided devoid of any and all warranties
} against failure, merchantability, or fitness for a particular use.
} JURASSIC PARK II: THE UPGRADE
} INTERIOR DAY. OPULENT MANSION LIBRARY. DR. HAMMOND IS GOING OVER SOME
} DESIGNS BY PONS AND FLEISCHMANN.
} "Doctor Hammond, there are reports of dinosaurs arriving on the
} shores of Florida."
} "Impossible. None of the dinosaurs I engineered were capable of
} "It seems that the genetic merging with amphibians has allowed
} them to get around that limitation."
} "Dammit, why does nature keep interfering with my designs? Do
} the authorities know?"
} "Well, not exactly. INS seem to think they're Cuban refugees in
} ridiculous disguises, and discover slightly too late that they're
} "Good, then there's still time. Quick, send my grandchildren
} down to DisneyWorld."
} "Won't that put them in danger?"
} "Of course not. I designed the dinosaurs to be mortally repelled
} by anyone with a similar DNA pattern to mine, so any member of my family
} is safe from them. I've thought of everything."
} EXTERIOR DAY. FLORIDA SWAMPS. TWO MEN IN A ROWBOAT.
} "Did you hear that, Clem?"
} "Hear what, Jed?"
} "That noise."
} "Swamp's full of noises, Jed. C'mon, let's get back 'fore it
} gets dark."
} PULLS STARTER CORD ON OUTBOARD MOTOR. MOTOR JAMS.
} "The hell? I just fixed this this morning."
} CLEM REACHES UNDERWATER TO UNJAM PROPELLER.
} "Careful, Clem, you might get your hand bit."
} "C'mon, Jed, what could possibly happen?"
} SHARK^H^H^H^H^HDINOSAUR BITES DOWN ON JED'S HAND. JED IS PULLED
} IN WATER.
} "AAAAGGGHHHHH!!! JED! AAAGgrgl....."
} JED IS PULLED BELOW THE WATER. SILENCE. A FEW BUBBLES RISE TO
} THE SURFACE. SILENCE. SUDDENLY, AN OBJECT EXPLODES FROM THE
} WATER. A BLOODIED HUMAN SKELETON WEARING A SKOAL CAP LANDS IN
} THE BOAT. JED SCREAMS.
} LONG SHOT OF BOAT IN WATER. BOAT IS SUDDENLY SWALLOWED WHOLE BY
} INTERIOR DAY. SCHOOL CLASSROOM. BIOLOGY CLASS. SHOW-AND-TELL.
} "And what did you bring to show us, Billy?"
} "I found this really weird egg the other day."
} "My, that is interesting. Jenny, what did you bring?"
} BILLY TAKES EGG TO BACK OF ROOM, PLACES IN INCUBATOR. SETS ON
} "My God, Jenny! A skull?"
} "Yep, with a Skoal cap on it, just like my daddy wears. By the
} way, my mom says if any of you see him, tell him to come home.
} THERE IS A LOUD CRASH FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM. BILLY SCREAMS
} IN AGONY.
} "MY GOD! WHAT'S THAT ON HIS FACE?"
} "I'd swear it was an embryo female diloposaurus merged with
} amphibian genetic material."
} "SHUT UP, WESLEY, AND GET THE PRINCIPAL!!"
} EXTERIOR DAY. REMOTE ROAD. RED CAR SPEEDS DOWN ROAD, STEAM ISSUING
} FORTH FROM THE OVERHEATING RADIATOR. DENNIS WEAVER DRIVING. IN CLOSE
} PURSUIT IS A LARGE BLACK 18-WHEELER, DRIVEN BY A VELOCIRAPTOR. [Damn,
} those things are smart.]
} EXTERIOR DAY. SAILING SHIP PERMANENTLY MOORED TO DOCK. THE CAPTAIN
} HOLDS A SWORD, SEARCHING INTENTLY FOR AN UNSEEN OPPONENT.
} "Smee, where is that Pan?"
} "I could have sworn he went up the rigging, sir."
} A MAN EMERGES ON TO THE BOOM OF THE MAIN SAIL.
} "Or so it appeared. Little did Smee know that I was just a
} holographic projection. Oh no, my Duracells just went dead.
} BEEEYOooop! Don't you just hate when that happens?" <voice change>
} "And now, right heeere on our shoe, a very rare guest indeed, give him
} a warm welcome, Mr. Hook!"
} A VELOCIRAPTOR EMERGES FROM THE CARGO HOLD.
} "The crock!"
} THE VELOCIRAPTOR DEVOURS THE CAPTAIN.
} "If something's eating you, take time out; don't take it out on
} your kids..."
} EXTERIOR DAY. DISNEYWORLD. HAMMOND'S GRANDCHILDREN ARE ON THE
} AUTOPIA, ATTEMPTING TO OUTRUN A TRICERATOPS.
} "Can't you make this thing go any faster?"
} "Sorry, but this car runs on Windows-NT. I don't know *that*."
} "We're dead..."
} INTERIOR DAY. LABORATORY. DR. HAMMOND IS WORKING INTENTLY.
} "Igor! I've done it!"
} "What, Newton recognized your handwriting?"
} "No! I've discovered what's gone wrong all this time. I now
} know exactly why my designs keep falling apart."
} "The Pentium bug?"
} "That's part of it. But more important, I know how to fix it.
} And it's so simple. All we have to do is..."
} *CRASH* A T-REX BURSTS INTO THE LAB. HAMMOND IS CLOSEST, AND IS
} DEVOURED WHOLE. A BUNSEN BURNER OVERTURNS, IGNITING HAMMOND'S
} NOTES. A BULK ERASER IS KNOCKED ACROSS THE ROOM, LANDING ON THE
} STACK OF BACKUP TAPES. MEETINGMAKER RECEIVES A NEW MEETING
} PROPOSAL, AND THE MAC CRASHES, DESTROYING ALL WORK.
} EXTERIOR DAY. NEVADA DESERT. LONG SHOT OF COLLECTION OF DINOSAURS ALL
} IN ONE LARGE GROUP. PAN DOWN TO REVEAL CONCRETE BUNKER.
} "Four. Three. Two. One."
} NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. ALL DINOSAURS ARE OBLITERATED. A NEW ENGLAND
} BEACHED WHALE DISPOSAL TEAM TAKES NOTES.
} "Phew! Glad that's over."
} "Yeah. Lucky thing someone was reading Hammond's Web page on
} dinosaur pheremones before his lab got wrecked."
} "Yup. Threw a few hundred gallons of it in the desert, and we
} couldn't keep 'em away."
} "So. Lunch?"
} EXTERIOR DAY. BEACH ON THE ATLANTIC SEABOARD. CAMERA LOWERS AND DOES
} SLOW CLOSEUP PAN ON FLOTSAM. CAMERA COMES TO STOP. HOLD FOR A MOMENT
} AS A CRACKED BARBASOL CAN WASHES UP INTO THE FRAME.
} So there you have it. I won't spoil the surprise involving your
} dog, your car, the keys, and the velociraptor.
} You owe the Oracle a front row reat.