> Oh magnificent Oracle who is, no, who can, no...hmmm let me start over.
> Orrie, you and me have been Instead of the normal grovelling, O, let me
> tell you a little story. And I swear, I am not making any of this up...
> I left my previous employer almost three years ago. You know, the one
> who provided me with mail and news. Arriving with my current employer,
> I discovered that I had no news, no mail, and alas, no Oracle. As a
> frequent grovelling supplicant and incarnation, I suffered severe
> Oracular withdrawal. Oh sure, I had printed some digests, but even your
> wisdom can get stale as the paper yellows.
> So I knew I had to act. It was difficult, painful, and time-consuming,
> but you already know how motivating withdrawal can be, right? First, I
> had to convince my new employer to get us online. To do this I first
> had to get rid of the old sysadmin and install my own hand-picked
> replacement. This took a year, during which I developed severe eye
> ticks and wore the edges off the printed digests.
> Having done that, we then had to convince the finance people that they
> could make money by buying something. This was not easy, but
> eventually we prevailed. Another six months. My psychaitrist prescribed
> dexedrine to keep me awake and valium to help me sleep and the printed
> digests fell apart at the folds.
> So we buy the hardware, select a provider, dump the provider, select
> another provider. Six more months. I'm on Prozac now, and the digests
> have crumbled into dust.
> I get assigned to another project, with a different network and a
> different operating system. My handpicked sysadmin quits and his
> replacement doesn't have time to install a newsreader. I find a free
> news site that I can reach via two telnet hops, and nearly a babbling
> idiot, for the first time in almost THREE YEARS, I read the words as
> they pour life-giving energy into my depleted body: **ZOT**.
> So, that's it for the grovelling. Sincere grovelling. And now my
> question: Did you miss me?