} Oh, dear. Another scheduling mixup. The Universal Planning Committee
} will be quite upset.
} This event was supposed to occur last night on the small world of
} P'phlurk, in sector XLE446-J. It was to be the Last Great Sign of the
} Nninge Prophets, the Sign of the beginning of the Pilgrimage of Doom.
} This morning, all of the followers of Nninge (about four billion of
} them ... Nninge is quite popular) should have heard about the Sign,
} climbed aboard their ritually-blessed spaceships, and hurled themselves
} into their sun to show their love for Nninge.
} Since the UPC mixed things up again and sent the Sign to you instead of
} them, I'm afraid that the whole planetful of people will have to
} continue to live happy and fruitful lives, and Nninge is going to be
} As for your grandfather, he can patch up the eye with some epoxy and
} wear it again, but if he shows any signs of hijacking a NASA shuttle
} and piloting it into the sun, you may want to take the eye away again
} and make him wear a patch.
} As for you, supplicant, you did not provide so much as a rudimentary
} grovel. Your punishment will be to drink the glass of Coke.
} So speaks the Oracle.