} It all started a long, long time ago. In the beginning, neither dogs
} nor cats moved their tails at all to express emotion. Even now, it is
} still not to express emotion, but for quite different reasons.
} Cats were always very taciturn creatures, solitary hunters. Dogs were
} very playful, social creatures, and most of them were significantly
} larger than cats. In the days of Eden, they lived mostly seperate
} lives. But one day, a dog met a cat, and the course of history was
} changed forever.
} A dog was walking along jauntily along through a grassy clearing,
} contentedly drooling, ears aflap. Then, suddenly, he sees and smells
} something it had never seen before. A large mound of fur, its topmost
} point pinnacled by two triangular-shaped EARS... yes, ears, it would
} call them! with a long, dark, thick, lush TAIL, stretched out in a
} straight line behind it, was sitting smack-dab directly in the center
} of the field!
} CAT, thought the dog, grinning happily as he added three new words to
} his vocabulary. CAT. Then it trotted forward to investigate.
} The cat did not even notice. (It should be added that cats were a lot
} less cautious in those days, which is also why its tail was stretched
} out fully behind it, instead of curled safely around its own body.)
} Maybe it would like to play with me? mused the dog, lowering his head
} to take a better whiff of the creature. CAT. CAT.
} CAT. The dog sniffed carefully. Strange smell! URINE, thought the dog,
} drooling inadvertantly onto the cat's fur. The cat still did not notice
} the dog, sitting there motionlessly.
} The dog lowered his head still lower. TAIL, he grinned. PLAY. PULL, he
} thought happily, gently closing his jaws around the long, furry, soft
} The cat hissed wildly and let out an ear-splitting
} REEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!!! jumping up and tearing off to a spot halfway
} across the field, where it soon regained is composure and began washing
} The dog lifted up his head, mystified. What happened? He hoped he
} didn't hurt the CAT. CAT, repeated the dog proudly, pleased that he had
} made up a new word today.
} Maybe the CAT was playing too? wondered the dog. Was it a new game? He
} wasn't sure if he liked this game very much, but if it *was* a game,
} and since for him, any game was a good game, he decided he liked it.
} The thought of a new game excited the dog tremendously, and he started
} off toward the cat again, who was once again faced away from him,
} licking its paw.
} The dog stopped about a foot away from the cat, whose tail once again
} was stretched out behind it. But this time, noticed the particularly
} smart and observant dog, its tail was twitching.
} Oh boy! marveled the dog. He loved challenges. He decided to try it
} too. Wheeee!!!! thought the dog happily, as he felt the wind rush
} through the fur of his tail. What fun! He never tried *that* before.
} Cats are pretty smart, decided the dog.
} TAIL. PLAY. PULL, thought the dog, darting several times and missing,
} until he finally managed to pull the tail once more. This time, the cat
} hissed bloody murder, meowing passionately and it tore off through the
} Garden, never to return to this spot.
} CAT. GONE, though the dog morosely, looking around hopefully in case it
} was hiding. He sniffed for the strange smell. Gone. He was crestfallen.
} Had he played wrong?
} No, he had not played wrong, thought the dog, brightening. Maybe that
} was supposed to be the game. Two turns, and then the cat runs away? He
} WAGged his tail again optimistically. WAG, thought the dog happily.
} Maybe he was supposed to find another cat? He wagged his tail again
} cheerfully. Yes!
} And he did find another cat. And another. And another, until it was
} finally imprinted in the genes of cats to move their tails when they
} were nervous, for all their nervousness burns down to is,
} subconsciously, that, when they are least expecting it, a dog *will*
} bite their tail.
} And dogs, they do not wag their tails because they are happy. They are
} happy because they wag their tail, and this very happiness has been
} imprinted in the genes of dogs, to be passed on forever from one
} generation to the next.
} Eventually, cats wisened up and realized they could be more aware of
} their surroundings, and later on, they found out they had claws and
} made use of them, which the dogs thought was a dirty trick. *They*
} thought it was all in good fun. But soon, they began to tease cats just
} to be annoying, once the cats started their clawing, and their
} tail-wagging took on an extra use as well, so they could avoid better
} the nasty tail swipes the cats would make. (Dogs still thoroughly enjoy
} this 'game,' as illustrated by their wagging.)
} And so began the eternal Dog and Cat feud.
} You owe the Oracle a can of flea powder.