748-05 (4frgj dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: email@example.com (Frank Backitis)
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> As we all know, the Good Book says: "Blessed is the Oracle, for he
> shall inherit the heavens. Blessed are the supplicants, for they shall
> inherit a huge phone bill, not to mention quite a head-ache. For your
> Oracular wisdom protecteth me like a blanket of apples. Yey, though I
> have been to the city of Bethyannay and returned from the Valley of
> Gurchaiel, your Oracle doth shield me from ignorance and sickness."
> (Jebedaiah, 4, 27). Hah! Those must have been some understatements, ey?
> I bet even than, some supplicants doubted your omniscience, but not I.
> I will ask you a question, nay, a mere utterance, for to you it must
> seem childplay, but I have struggled with it greatly.
> Why do women take more time to mature (mentally) than men do? I mean
> sure, every girl thinks she's a women when she starts to menstruate,
> but that doesn't mean anything, right?
} "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!"
} "Um, Lisa, dear, please give me the keyboard."
} "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!! ZOT THE BASTARD."
} "That's a good girl. Why don't you lie down for a bit."
} "BETTER YET BOIL HIM IN OIL"
} "Close the shades and I'll be in to massage your back soon. Bye. Now,
} where was I, oh yes.... You'll have to forgive Lisa. She get's a
} little irritable every few weeks or so. You learn to live with it.
} ["RIP HIS TESTICLES OUT HAIR BY HAIR"]
} "In a minute, dear, close the door please.... Listen, my dear
} supplicant, my heart is soothed by the best grovel I've heard in years,
} but I'm a little busy right now...."
} ["PUT TABASCO SAUCE IN HIS CONDOMS"]
} "Yes, dear... Um, why don't you supplicate me in a few days when
} things have quieted down. I have to take care of a few things."
} ["BRING ME A PINT OF HAAGEN DAAZ DOUBLE CHOCOLATE RIPPLE WITH
} EXTRA BUTTERSCOTCH"]
} "Yes, dear, where do we keep it?"
} ["DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU? FOR THE LOVE OF
} "Yes, dear, oh it this thing still on? Bye now."