} You know, it's been so long since I've been to hell and back, I don't
} really know who's doing gate duty now.
} Let's travel and find out, shall we? <The Oracle snaps his mighty
} fingers and *POOF*, he is standing in Satan's office.>
} "Satan! You old son of a-! How've you been doing these past few
} millenia?" <tosses a bone to Cerberus>
} "Business is booming, my old omnipotent friend. How's the Q&A track?"
} "Not bad, not bad, once Lisa and I got over that dreary woodchuck
} period. Actually, it's a supplicant question that brings me here.
} Supplicant wants to know if Bill Gates is pulling GD right now."
} "Well, now, I'm not sure. I passed that task on to my minions
} centuries ago. Let me pull up the roster and check who's on gate
} duty this week. <sits down to his terminal, a not-yet-of-this-earth
} Brimstone 4000/10,086 with 640G of RAM, 800 Quads of hard disk space,
} infinite floppy drives and a processor so fast the Hz can't be
} expressed in real numbers.> You know, ever since I got this baby,
} Hell is just a little bit less hellish. Ah, here we are, the gate
} roster for the next 300 years. Right this minute, Pauly Shore's up
} there, but tomorrow Leona Helmsley's got a shift, as well as Yahoo
} Serious, David Duke, Ivana Trump (she's got a double shift with her
} ex), Shannon Doherty. Next week, there's Jesse Helms, Gallagher,
} Bob Dole, Newt Gingrich (he'll be shift captain) Nancy Kerrigan (you
} know, she volunteered?) and Lorena Bobbit. <scans rest of list>
} Nope, sorry, I don't see any Bill Gates here. I take it your
} supplicant is a Mac user? Hey, gimme Bill's phone number, and I'll
} give him a call. I'm sure it's just an oversight."
} Well, valued supplicant, there's your answer. Now you have something
} to look forward to.
} You owe the Oracle a copy of Windows 95 (that's 2095.)