} The Oracle visibly restrains Itself from erupting in an epic, booming
} fury, clenches its teeth around the cigar It is smoking, and throws
} down the racing form it was perusing.
} "The meaning of _life_?" the Oracle sighs, in an irritated Brooklyn
} accent. "You want me to quote some tired Douglas Adams joke at you
} maybe?" The supplicant swallows nervously as the Oracle stands,
} planting both palms on Its desk. "Would regurgitating some Monty
} Python bit be more to your liking?"
} "Err, I'm sorry your magnanimousness," the supplicant begins to
} apologize, interrupted by the Oracle, who has now raised Its voice and
} gestures angrily with Its cigar.
} "How about I make some hokey reference to Life-the-boardgame or
} Conway's Life. Jiminy cricket, you probably wouldn't even get the
} reference! I'd probably have to sink to some reference to
} Life-the-cereal or Life-the-magazine just to elicit some response other
} than a blank stare."
} "Please forgive me, your Oracleship," the supplicant pleads, now
} terrified and trembling. "It's just that I wanted to..."
} "You wanted to see yourself on the newsgroup is what you wanted, you
} little punk!" The Oracle was now pointing an accusing finger at the
} supplicant, Its face an angry beet red. "You think you'll get on the
} newsgroup with a pathetic question like..."
} "Now listen here!" the Supplicant interrupted, aswim with fear and
} anger. "I don't care if you _are_ omnipotent and omniscient - that
} doesn't give you the right to abuse me like that! Just because my
} question isn't as clever as important as what you're used to doesn't
} mean it isn't important to _me_!" The supplicant looked like it was on
} the verge of breaking down in overwhelmed tears.
} "Aw, c'mon kid, I'm only giving you the business. You're new in town,
} and I'd be a real heel if I reduced you to a pile of smoldering ash
} just for asking questions, right?" The Oracle smiled a warm,
} reassuring smile and playfully punched the supplicant on the shoulder.
} "I... guess," the supplicant answered weakly.
} "Tell you what, pal. You want the meaning of life, I'll give you the
} meaning of life. Look in your pocket." The supplicant followed the
} Oracle's suggestion and soon produced a fortune cookie, already
} forgotten from lunch at the neighborhood Chinese restaraunt, earlier
} that day. Looking at the Oracle for reassurance, the supplicant broke
} open the morsel and read the enclosed slip of paper.
} MEANING OF LIFE IS AS FOLLOWS: EAT DELICIOUS SZECHUAN CUISINE AT WU
} "You mean I had it all along, and all I had to do was look inside?"
} "Now you understand, kid!" the Oracle laughed jovially. "What you
} were looking for was there all along. Well, since earlier this
} afternoon at least." Tearfully, the Supplicant threw its arms around
} the Oracle, who smiled benevolently. "All in a day's work," the Oracle
} You owe the Oracle a steaming plate of W**dch*ck Lo Mein.