> O indoubtable Oracle, whose redoubts are undoubtably doubtfree,
> please deign to spend more than 3 seconds on my waspish wish:
> My last query was carefully worded, contained at least 5
> references to popular culture, and opened the avenue to many a
> high-brow-humorous reply. Your answer was short, crude, and ended
> not in a clever demand for goods tangentially refered to in your
> previous retort, but in the words, "See ya!"
> I mean, "See ya!" Really! I am flabbergasted. I have not the
> vocabulary to express my utter disappointment with your reply and
> my growing concern for your continued aptitude for this job.
> Lately, if it hasn't been barfed-out one-liners from the Oracle
> Answer-O-Matic, it's been crappy conundrums carved out of C++.
> "See ya!" indeed.
> I demand better! I demand a recount! I demand no taxation
> without representation, and furthermore, I demand satisfactory
> answers to my questions! No more ramming tattered common wisdom
> down my throat! I want bread and circuses, dammit!!!!
> And look, to make things ("things" being a worthwhile reply on
> your part) easier, lemmee point out a couple of things in the
> above rant:
> Para. 1: Lookit -- a play on the word "doubt" -- the whole
> doubting-the-life-beyond thing that humans do so much and that
> amuses immortals like yourself to no end, and a play on the whole
> rest of the letter, which is doubting your competence.
> Para. 1, con't: "3 seconds" -- a realization that if the Oracle's
> answering questions this time of day, he's probably doing so by
> stealing precious time away from his day job and can't devote
> quite the time to his answers as he would if I asked, say, 7-ish.
> Also, "wasp", i.e. W.A.S.P. -- as in, who's really doing the
> asking and answering around here, anyway.
> Para. 2: "See ya!" -- an opening for many a rant and rave (and,
> oddly enough, convenient excuse) about AOL terrorists sneaking in
> and pounding randomly away on your holy keyboard, unbeknownst to
> you and your recumbent woman-Friday, Lisa.
> Para. 3: Play on "C++" and "See ya!" -- In other words, one line
> with no thought is worth about as much as six pages of
> pseudo-computer gibberish, and is about as funny.
> Para. 4: All sorts of opportunities to make fun of the American
> political system, of Our Founding Fathers Who Thought It Really
> Neat to Dress Up Weird and Dodge Taxes at Three Oclock in the
> Morning, and of P.T. Barnum, who, when you think on it, really
> walks hand-in-hand with the American political system. Also,
> "common wisdom" is a graph in USA Today, which is a joke in and of
> Postscript over-explanations: "Lookit the brain. Uh-huh-huh,
> huh-huh. My liver. My liver."
> So there's humor all over this letter, waiting to explode out on
> to the printed page, er, screen. But, I'm not expecting anything,
> or rather, I'm not expecting anything with a reasonable ratio of
> capitato lower-case letters, iF YoU KnOW whAT i MeAn.
> Oracle, sir, you disappoint me.