} Worm! How dare you question the infinite, eternity-spanning
} clairvoyance of the Oracle?
} The Oracle has no expectations. It knows.
} In our ocean of grace, a drop of which would drown you and all of your
} people, past, present, and future, we can find the generosity to
} bless you with an answer.
} Hear me now and believe me later:
} In the back of a renovated general store in Mobile, Alabama, there
} is a locked utility closet. The key was left on the bumper of a
} pickup truck in 1988 during a tire change, and was transported
} to Maryland, where it fell off three feet from the border of
} Anne Arundel county. There it sits, and the closet has remained
} locked ever since. In the back of the closet, hidden in darkness,
} is a broken floorboard. This floorboard looks down into a
} partition of the cellar which was separated from the rest of the
} subterranian storeroom by the owner of the general store in
} 1954. The partition was plastered over to mimic the other walls
} of the cellar and has gone undiscovered since the store changed
} hands in 1978. In the partitioned-off cellar sits a 1919 roll-top
} accountant's desk. Inside this desk is a 7 by 10 grid of cubby-
} holes. These cubbyholes once contained urgent letters from
} investors and bank directors in Chicago, but when the
} accounting business went bankrupt in 1932, a relative of the
} previous general store owner bought the desk in an auction
} and emptied it of its contents.
} The cubbyholes now contain 3x5 cards with the answers to every
} question in the universe. The accounting business in Chicago
} went bankrupt because their main accountant disappeared
} with a large sum of money. He was eaten by a Shuggoth. We
} struck a trade with the Shuggoth for the accountant's spectral
} body. He now sits before the desk in the cellar partition of hte
} the general store in Mobile, Alabama, pulling the notecards of
} universal knowledge out of the seventy cubbyholes.
} On his last notecard was printed, "the supplicant believes that
} 'The Usenet Oracle has no questions to ask.'"
} That is how we know you believe. We expect nothing of you.