} Dear supplicant, in view Dear supplicant, in view
} of you unfortunate eye of you unfortunate eye
} condition, I shall also condition, I shall also
} write stereoscopically. write stereoscopically.
} I know, I know, this I know, I know, this
} Net.indecency hysteria Net.indecency hysteria
} we're currently having we're currently having
} to endure is a pain in to endure is a pain in
} the butt, isn't it? the behind, isn't it?
} Jesus, there's always Jeepers, there's always
} been porn on the Net, been naughtiness on the
} just like there has in Net, just like there has
} the real world. You want in the real world. You
} to see naked hooters? want to see unclad
} Just walk into any chests? Just walk into
} goddam newsagent. And any atheistic newsagent.
} how do you like the And how do you like the
} bloody nerve of one sanguinary nerve of one
} country thinking it can country thinking it can
} tell the rest of the tell the rest of the world
} world what it can and what it can and can't say
} can't say in electronic in electronic communications?
} communications? Can the Can the <expletive deleted>
} frigging US government US government stop an
} stop an Australian Australian calling a New
} calling a New Zealander Zealander a sheepmolest^H
} a sheepshagger if that's ^H^H^H^H^Hworrier if that's
} what he really wants to what he really wants to
} do? do?
} Hey, you know there was Hey, you know there was
} even one of those even one of those intellect-
} cretinous parental ually challenged parental
} control filters recently control filters recently
} that blocked Socks's that blocked Socks's
} cruddy White House page encrusted White House page
} for kids, because the for kids, because the
} smutty pussy used the unclean private parts used
} word couples to describe the word conjoins to describe
} people like Bill and people like the President
} Hillary? (Hah! As if and the First Lady?
} Bill ever restricted his <generally suggestive
} attentions to just a parenthetic allegations
} couple, eh?) This kind deleted> This kind of
} of crap will ensure that number twos will ensure
} the whole thing sinks that the whole thing sinks
} under a tidal wave of under a tidal wave of
} derision. Hell, your derision. Heck^H^H^H^H
} kids learn far ruder Gosh, your kids learn far
} words than couples at naughtier words than
} school. Perhaps those conjoins at school.
} geniuses in your Those geniuses in your
} idiotic Congress should wonderful Congress should
} legislate about what legislate about what
} can be said in the can be said in the
} playground, too. playground, too.
} Still, I understand Still, I understand
} your fears about your fears about
} freedom of speech on freedom of speech on
} the Net, and sympathise the Net, and sympathise
} with them. As an with them. As an
} immortal, however, I immortal, however, I
} have the advantage of a have the advantage of a
} long-term perspective, long-term perspective,
} and so I can assure you and so I can assure you
} that I've seen all this that your government is
} sort of thing before, only thinking of your
} and it all blows over in welfare. You must trust
} time. Repressive regimes your government. Your
} rarely last more than a government knows what
} century, often much is good for you. Those
} less. Those smegheads in <term not in dictionary>s
} Congress think they know in Congress know that
} what's good for you they are what is good
} better than you do for you. They love you.
} yourself. This is They want you to be
} typical of the right- happy. They don't want
} wing paternalism that you to worry your head
} grips the Republican about matters you don't
} party generally -- hence understand. But to do
} all the whining on about all this, they need your
} children, of course. complete obedience.
} They want to treat you That's not too much to
} all as children -- so ask, is it? We can't
} much easier to control have people rocking the
} than adults. And what boat. Not if we're to
} with the resurgence in rebuild a law-abiding,
} religious fundamentalism God-fearing America
} as a backlash against from the ruins left by
} the liberalism of the those pinko subversives
} 60s and 70s, not to of the 60s and 70s. You
} mention millenium fever, want your children to
} they now think they've be safe. You want to be
} got some sort of moral safe. You want us to
} mandate for their heavy- look after you. You know
} handed tactics. you do.
} But bear up, supplicant. But we noticed that you
} Things are not as bad as used words like McCarthyism
} they could be. Okay, so and liberty to imply that
} we're undergoing a you were disapproving of
} brief return to the your elected government's
} days of McCarthyism. sterling efforts to protect
} What you have to do is you from yourself. You must
} keep saying to yourself: guard against Unamerican
} "This country is still thoughts like these. Keep
} a democracy. Come the saying to yourself over
} elections, I'll see who and over: "Every day in
} has my true interests every way I am getting
} at heart and vote better, and more dutiful,
} accordingly." And they and more trusting, and
} know it. In the end, more obedient." You can
} it's you who controls do it. You will do it.
} them. Hang on to that And in the end, you'll
} thought -- you'll feel feel better for it.
} better for it. Or else.
} As this is your first As this is your first
} time, you don't owe the transgression, Big Brother
} Oracle anything. Please forgives you. Next time
} feel free to call again it'll be a visit to the
} anytime. room full of rats, buddy.