} Oh, supplicant, who wishes to pierce the veil of mystery surrounding
} the subject of international conspiracy,
} I sent my simulacrum of a secret agent, Htron Revilo, into the dark
} alleyways of the secret world, from the Casbah of Algiers and the back
} streets of Gaza to the luxurious cafes adjacent to the Quai d'Orsay.
} At considerable risk to life and limb, as well as his Newt Gingrich
} hairdo, Htron met with "usually reliable informants," some of who had
} "provided accurate information in the past," and many of whom were "in
} a position to know."
} Htron drank stout in Dublin and Belfast, vodka in Moscow, aguardiente
} in various parts of South America, arrak in Beirut, and tea among the
} teetotalers of the desert.
} He investigated stories of Red Brigades, Red Army faction, mujahideen,
} separatists, revanchists, unionists, anarchists, communists and
} fascists, black helicopters, Black Power, the Black Hand, the Black
} Watch, Black Beauty, Black Shirts, Silver Shirts, Brown Shirts, Green
} Shirts, no shirts (decamisados), and no pants (sans-culottes).
} Once he recovered from a serious overdose of cheap booze and bad tea,
} Htron Revilo reported as follows:
} There once was a man from Nantucket,
} Brought a conspiracy home in a bucket,
} The claims and the lies,
} Brought tears to his eyes,
} I can't find the truth, so just [remainder destroyed in the process of
} You owe the Oracle a book report on Conrad's "The Secret Agent."