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} Well, my friendly little companionable grovelless supplicant, the
} answer to your question is rather simple.
}
} Remember that childhood tale of the boy in tight green hose and vest,
} flying about the sky, with a cute little fairy dancing about sprinkling
} her fairy dust upon the happy supplicants? The part about that story
} relative to your question deals with the statement:
} Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.
}
} This has absolutely nothing to do with where I'm from.
}
} Perchance you can remember something about theology and a journey into
} the heavens, where a fabulous realm is located behind a beautiful,
} arched set of cute pearly gates, or even a frightfully hot, ungroveling
} supplicant infested place of fire and brimstone?
}
} These realms also exist apart from mine.
}
} Is there a possibility you remember last August when you asked the gas
} station attendant about how to get to local condom shop? Where he
} hitched up his oil stained trousers, professionally scratched at his
} backside, and grunted while gesturing toward the north?
}
} Such mortal locations hold no bearing on my locale.
}
} Perhaps someone offended you the other day, and you told them to "Stick
} it up your A__"
}
} Nope, not in there either, am I?
}
} Perhaps you can recall eating twinkies the other day, while reading the
} ingredients list on the package, not understanding one single word, and
} thinking to yourself, "*Gag* What do they put in these things?"
}
} They are devoid of Oracles, I assure you.
}
} Perhaps you've been reading the Usenet lately, and shaking your head at
} all the strange and childish newbies who fail to get the grasp that the
} internet is a community thing, and you ask yourself, "Gawd, where DO
} they all come from?"
}
} Nowhere near me, I assure you.
}
} Perhaps you've had the pleasure of listening to a politician ramble on
} for hours on end with no discernable purpose, and you ask yourself, "Is
} this leading anywhere?"
}
} Certainly not toward me.
}
} Can you recollect from your childhood when your sibling would come
} around, taunt you, try to tickle you, pick your nose, and make
} disgusting noises while you were trying to talk to your friends on the
} phone. While all you could do was think about your sibling's brain and
} think, "Jeeezz! Is there anyone in there?"
}
} I'm definitely not.
}
} Remember when you woke up with that roach crawling about your head and
} totally freaked out? Following that you scattered Roach Motels(tm) all
} about your residence and waited, slobberingly for the roaches to check
} in. The next morning you woke up and checked for new roach-renters?
}
} I wasn't in there, was I?
}
} Can you recollect, staring at your closet at night, and trying to
} figure out what form of monster lived in there?
}
} Not me.
}
} Remember those days of scanning the map, hoping to find the secret
} islands holding Gilligan, Wonder Woman, and Tattoo?
}
} Well, they aren't near me.
}
} So, Where am I, you ask.....?
}
} Back to your question of course.
}
} You owe the Internet Oracle two roach motels, a twinkie and an
} autographed picture of Tattoo.
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
