} What!? A loophole!! That can't be! I had the finest judges money can
} buy write up the Oracular Code. Hold on a second while I find the
} relevant part of the Code.
} [Flip, flip, flip]
} Here we are, Oracular Code, Vol. XXIX (Supplicants, Part XX), Section
} L (Answering Supplicants), Subsection 29 (Grovel Requirement),
} Paragraphs i through iii, to wit:
} i. Grovel Requirement
} The customers ("Supplicants" or "Geeks") of the Grand and Glorious
} Internet Oracle ("Oracle") must sufficiently abase themselves in order
} to secure the Answer Guarantee (Paragraph iii). Such abasement must be
} expressed in the form of a Grovel (Paragraph ii). Questions from Geeks
} which lack a grovel may or may not be answered by Oracle at his sole
} discretion. The presence of a grovel guarantees an answer only, and
} does not provide any guarantees, either express or implied, as to the
} quality of said answer (see volumes XL through CXII, Litigation; see
} also volume III (Incarnations), Section F (Clueless Incarnations)).
} ii. Grovel
} A self-abasement by a Geek or Geeks ("Grovel") is defined as a
} sentence or phrase expressing self-mortification on the part of the
} Geek, and aggrandizing Oracle. Veiled insults in said Grovel make the
} entire Grovel null and void, thus voiding the Answer Guarantee.
} Expressions of doubt concerning the Oracle's abilities also void said
} iii. Answer Guarantee
} In any Geek-Oracle question-answer relationship, Oracle guarantees to
} said Geek that all questions asked shall be duly answered whenever the
} Grovel Requirement is met (see Paragraph i).
} Hmmmmmm..... It appears that the substitution of a statement for a
} question is not covered by the Answer Guarantee. That means I can
} answer or not at my discretion, I think. I'd hate to have litigation
} come up over this, though. I'd have to review all those volumes. Wait!
} Look at Subsection 15!
} Subsection 15: Reverse Jeopardy
} i. Supplicant Questions
} The information submitted to the Oracle ("Question") by the clients
} of the Oracle ("Supplicants" or "Geeks") must be phrased in the form of
} a question. Failure to comply with this requirement renders the Oracle-
} Geek contract null and void, unless the Geek is Alex Trebek.
} Ha! It looks like my judges out-loopholed you!
} You owe the Oracle 10 years of service as a target dummy on the Zot Gun
} practice range.