} Easy. You see, light should travel at the speed of light, rendering
} a simple flashlight a tool of planet smashing power, but unfortunately
} flashlights were designed by the same person who designed London buses.
} Hence, even though all physics textbooks list huge velocities for
} light, just as the London Transport timetable says that you can get
} from Lewisham to Oxford Street in one hour, in real life things tend to
} go a bit slower. Just as you wait for half an hour at that bus-stop
} outside the Lewisham bus depot and then the bus, once it comes, takes
} half an hour longer than timetabled, the light from London Transport
} designed flashlights pootles along at a much slower speed, slightly
} above the speed of sound.
} Furthermore, the original London Transport flashlight was even worse.
} Instead of photons coming out as a continuous stream as physics
} predicts, you would wait for a whole heap of time, and then a whole
} bunch of photons would all turn up at once. While flashlights have been
} improved a bit since then, these old flashlights have found good use in
} nightclubs and concerts as so-called 'strobe' lights.
} And of course you've probably noticed that when you wave a flashlight
} around at night, light appears to be coming out of the end, but it
} doesn't seem to illuminate things. This is because in true London
} Transport style the photons streaming out the end actually do see the
} solid reflective objects they should bounce off, but pretend they
} haven't and just fly by.
} And, if you do have some 'brilliant plans', then you can repay The
} Oracle by working for six months for London Transport, so that you
} may see what happens when brilliant plans meet unmotivated, lard-arsed
} drivers and conductors.