} You have been cursed by Olufsen, God of Audio Equipment. In a
} past life, you were Roland Moogson, itinerant instrument maker,
} and you made a mandolin so sublime that you claimed it was
} better than those of the gods themselves. This is never a good
} idea, as many throughout history will testify, and Olufsen
} punished you for your hubris by dropping a harpsichord on you.
} But this wasn't enough; and so he punished you by ensuring
} that your next ten reincarnations would not only be incapable
} of _making_ instruments, but would also be unable to buy any
} decent audio equipment. This explains your 8-track cartridge
} system, the stylophone and the Bontempi.
} But, cheer up! This is the last incarnation under the curse. In
} your next life, you will design the ultimate instrument capable
} of converting brainwaves into a full orchestra sound. Just
} remember not to go on about how good it is.
} You owe the Oracle some betamax videos and a laserdisc. Truly
} the gods are fickle.