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} [SCENE: the Internet Oracle is sitting on his throne - not the big one
} in front of the computer, but the white one in the little room off to
} the left. As he sits there staring at ... uh ... reading the
} fascinating articles in his magazine, he hears Zadoc's muffled cries.]
}
} ZADOC: Master! Oh Master! Come quick!
}
} ORACLE: Bah! A guy can't even have a couple of hours to himself
} without getting interrupted. [Washes up and comes out] What is it,
} Zadoc?
}
} ZADOC: Look out the window! There's a crowd of supplicants out there,
} waving pitch forkes and burning torches! They're trying to break down
} the door! What should we do? Shall I get your ZOT staff?
}
} ORACLE: Now, Zadoc, calm down. No need to do anything rash. You go
} back to your Leggos and let me handle this.
}
} [The Oracle sits down in front of his console and types a few
} commands. There's a blinding flash of light and a puff of green
} smoke, and a supplicant appears, holding a megaphone.]
}
} SUPPLICANT: TO ARMS! DOWN WITH THE ... uh ...
}
} [Supplicant looks around, paniced, but quickly recovers.]
}
} SUPPLICANT: [with a smirk] Well, if it isn't orrie-butt. I suppose
} you brought me here to see me writhe in pain while you ZOT me
} repeatedly, eh?
}
} ORACLE: Now, now. Why would I want to do that?
}
} SUPPLICANT: Because in a few minutes, my followers will flood in here
} and take the place apart. I'M going to be the new Oracle, and YOU'RE
} going to be my preist!
}
} ORACLE: Sounds good to me.
}
} SUPPLICANT: [taken aback] Wha...?
}
} ORACLE: Sure. I've been needing a change of pace lately. What say
} you take over for a while. Come here. Have a seat on my throne. Go
} ahead, it won't bite.
}
} SUPPLICANT: [confused] Uh, ok ... what do I do?
}
} ORACLE: Well, you have many duties. Let's start with one of the more
} important. [turns] Lisa? OH LISA!
}
} LISA: [slinking in wearing a skimpy French Maid costume] Yes
} Orrie-butt?
}
} ORACLE: Lisa, this supplicant here want's to take my place. I want
} you to take him and ... uh ... show him the ropes.
}
} LISA: [face brightens] You mean it, Orrie? Can I really?
}
} [Lisa grabs supplicant's arm and drags him through a side doorway.]
}
} [15 minutes pass.]
}
} [Suddenly, a crowd of 50 or 60 people run into the room, carrying
} pitch forks and torches.]
}
} CROWD: AARGGGKEHHDAEFHEI ASISFAISDASAFEIIEAIESKDIAEI IEHEHADDGGD
}
} ORACLE: One at a time. You there, with the salad fork. What are you
} doing here?
}
} SALAD FORK MAN: I dunno, man, I was just eating lunch and I kinda got
} caught up in the frenzy.
}
} [Side door opens and supplicant stumbles out, eyes bloodshot and empty
} of life.]
}
} CROWD: YEAAAAAAAAAAH
}
} SUPPLICANT: uh ...
}
} SALAD FORK MAN: Fearless leader, you're here! We broke in, man! What
} do you want us to do now? Tar and feather him? Burn the place to the
} ground?
}
} SUPLICANT: [staring blankly around] wha...? huh...? [stumbles up to
} salad fork man] Hey, pal, could you give me a ride home?
}
} CROWD: [suddenly silent]
}
} SALAD FORK MAN: Uh, sure, man. Here, let me help you.
}
} [Supplicant, salad fork man, and rest of crowd slowly diserse. Oracle
} sits at his throne and stares at the screen for a few minutes.]
}
} [Lisa re-enters, a disappointed pout on her face.]
}
} LISA: Orrie-butt, that guy wasn't any fun at all! I only got up to
} 145 volts before he passed out.
}
} ORACLE: [shakes head, smiles at Lisa and stands] Come on, baby, I'll
} show you how a REAL Oracle treats ya.
}
} [Arm in arm, Lisa and the Oracle exit.]
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
