} Fellow Sucker:
} This is going to sound like a con, but in fact IT IS! The person who is
} now #8 on the list was #9 when I got it, which was only a few days ago.
} Five dollars is a small investment in your future, and I can use it
} better than you. Forget the lottery for a week and give this a try.
} (The lottery is nothing more than a legal tax on stupid people. This at
} least is an illegal scheme against really stupid people.)
} You can edit this list with a word processor or text editor and then
} convert it to a text file. Since you're having trouble with e-mail,
} though, you might need a little help doing so. Good Luck!
} Dear Friend:
} My name is The Internet Oracle. In September 1988 my chariot was
} repossessed and the bill collectors (read: hellspawn) were hounding me
} like you wouldn't believe. Woodchuck questions were on the rise and
} over 90% of Supplicants defaulted on their payments for questions
} answered. Even Lisa didn't want anything to do with me. Then I hatched
} this scheme.
} In January 1989 Lisa and I went on a ten day cruise to Alpha Centauri.
} I bought a brand new Porsche 911 Carrera with CASH in February 1989. I
} am currently building a new home on the sunny side of Olympus, with a
} private pool, boat slip, and a multimedia setup that has Bill Gates
} foaming at the mouth. I will never have to work again (like I ever
} did). Today I am RICH!
} I have earned over $400,000,000.00 (Four Hundred Million Dollars) to
} date and will become a billionaire within 4 or 5 days. Anyone,
} including you, can do the same. This money making program works
} perfectly every time, 100% of the time. I have NEVER failed to earn
} $50,000.00 or more whenever I wanted, which is daily. Best of all, you
} never have to leave home except to go to your mailbox or post office.
} Naturally, you're very skeptical. Variations of this popular scheme
} have been accused of being illegal. Even causing unrest in Albania.
} Heck, you may even have seen a similar message elsewhere. You probably
} don't want to have anything to do with it, but this is how you use
} e-mail in this day and age. Just trust me.
} Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will have
} received well over $50,000.00 cash, all yours. (Or an equal number of
} friendly messages from the kind people who have read your letter.) This
} program has remained successful because of the HONESTY and integrety of
} the participants. Please continue its success by CAREFULLY ADHERING to
} the instructions.
} Welcome to the world of Mail Order! This little business is somewhat
} different than most mail order houses. Your product is not solid and
} tangible, but rather a service. You are in the business of developing
} Mailing Lists. Many large corporations are happy to pay big bucks for
} quality lists. (The money made from the mailing lists is secondary to
} the income which is made from people like yourself requesting that they
} be included in that list.)
}  Immediately mail $1.00 to the first 5 names listed below,
} starting at number 1 through number 5. SEND CASH ONLY. (Total
} investment: $5.00) Enclose a note with each letter stating:
} "Please add my name to your mailing list" or "I fell for it,
} too." Include your name and mailing address. (This is a bogus
} way of trying to keep this scam legitimate.)
}  Remove the name that appears as number 1 on the list. Move the
} other nine names up one position (Number 2 becomes number 1,
} number 3 becomes number 2, and so on). Place your name,
} address, zip code, social security number, bra size (if
} applicable), sexual orientation mother's maiden name, and phone
} number (for those late night chat sessions with excited
} participants) in the number 10 position.
}  With your name in the number 10 position, upload this ENTIRE
} file to ten thousand different newsgroups, regardless of topic.
} The readers of these newsgroups will be grateful for your help.
} In addition, send this message to all of your friends (if any)
} and any person you have even a passing relationship with.
} Believe me, they'll be so happy to receive your message that
} your e-mail will be overflowing with praise
}  Within 60 days you will receive over $50,000.00 in CASH,
} several marriage proposals from supermodels, a professional
} baseball contract, and the undying love and respect of the
} entire Internet community. I did!
} Keep a copy of this file for yourself so that you can use it again and
} again whenever you need money or are just feeling lonely. As soon as
} you mail out these letters you're breaking the postal laws in several
} countries, but just claim that you're in the "mail order business."
} ** IT IS PERFECTLY ILLEGAL, BUT THAT SHOULDN'T STOP YOU **
} NOTE: Make sure that you retain EVERY name and address sent to you,
} either on computer or hard copy, but do not discard the names and notes
} that people send to you. This is PROOF that you are truly providing a
} nuisance, and should the I.R.S. or some other government agency
} question you, you can provide them with this information to try to snow
} Remember, if anyone actually falls for this and follows the
} instructions, five members will be reimbursed for their participation
} as a List Developer with $1.00 each. Your name will move up the pyramid
} and, if you're lucky, someone stupider than you will send you some
} money and you can recoup what you've already spent. You'll have a very
} full e-mail inbox, no matter what.
} REMEMBER - THIS PROGRAM FAILS ONLY IF YOU CAN THINK FOR YOURSELF. BE A
} 1. The Internet Oracle Box 1
} 2. Bill Gates Microsoft Corporation
} Redmond, Washington
} 3. Rupert Murdoch 17 Media Magnate Way
} Los Angeles, California
} 4. Orenthal James Simpson Post Office Box 32
} Los Angeles, California
} 5. Lisa Box 2
} 6. William Clinton 1600 Pennsylvania Ave
} Washington, DC
} 7. Queen Elizabeth II Buckingham Palace
} London, England
} 8. Charles Wood 13 Marmot Lane
} Marmota monax, Canada
} 9. Al Everett 1 Oracle Incarnation
} Somewhere, New Jersey
} 10.Zadoc Tranquil Pines Home for the Silly
} Plantation, Florida
} You owe the Oracle your name, address and $1. In addition, the Oracle
} requires the Brooklyn Bridge and breakfast without much Spam in it.