} Close, but no cigar.
} (Scene: the checkout at Toys'R'Us(tm), somewhere in Seattle. An
} ancient whitebearded man joins a line just behind a couple with a
} young toddler in a pushchair: the Internet Oracle (for it is he)
} observes them for a few moments, then realises that they are Bill and
} Melinda Gates with baby Jennifer. He taps Bill on the shoulder.)
} IO: Long time no see, Bill! The contact lenses almost had me fooled.
} BG: Oh, hi! Yeah, that was a good piece of advice, Orrie, what brings
} you here?
} IO: I'm low on batteries for the ZOT staff. You wouldn't believe how
} many woodchuck-fanciers there are. Hello Melinda, it's really nice
} to see you again. (Stoops to pushchair) And helllloooo Jen- Jen-
} Jenny- Jenny- Jennifer!
} MG: Hi, Orrie.
} JG: Gooogooogooo!
} IO: Ouch! Ow!
} MG: Jennifer, let go! Let go the nice man's beard! I'm sorry, Orrie,
} she doesn't understand "not-mine" yet, anything she wants she just
} reaches out and grabs.
} IO: Can't think where she gets that from. And what brings you all down
} from the mansion?
} BG: Well, Jennifer's looking around and exploring and everything, so we
} reckoned it was time to start showing her words and letters and
} things, and I said -
} MG: And I said no, Bill, you learnt from a picture book and it didn't
} do *you* any harm -
} BG: - she's right of course, so here we are. And this is rather a nice
} IO: Ah yes, a traditional alphabet picture book. "A is for..."
} (BG and MG look at each other, then start laughing out loud)
} MG: Riiiight! I told Bill to go and buy an A is for Apple picturebook
} for Jennifer -
} BG: - and I was busy, and asked a secretary to do it, and she misheard
} MG: - and the next thing Bill knew -
} BG: - was I had this note "MacWorld keynote speech by video, invoice
} for $150M follows, love Steve"!
} (BG and MG collapse laughing)
} IO: Well, I sure wouldn't like to be in *that* secretary's shoes!
} BG: Hey, rich men are supposed to collect works of art. She just gets
} called curator from now on.
} IO: And what about Apple?
} BG: We've already booked Steve as the conjurer for Jennifer's 5th
} birthday party. By that time she'll know better than to break
} her toys.
} IO: Ouch! Ow!
} You owe the Oracle some insanely wonderful false hair and theatrical