} Dear, dear supplicant. You don't know all that much, do you?
} The question you ask can be analogous to asking "How can you say
} you're so tall, when every time I meet you, I can't smell anything?"
} Your question is nonsense, and I'll explain why.
} Intelligence and Wisdom are two very different things. It is possible
} to be one, but not the other. In your case, I can see that you lack
} intelligence, but I can't remark about your Wisdom, do you see?
} Intelligence is a measure of raw knowledge. An intelligent man
} knows that you use an RS-232 Cable to connect a Daktronics EDU to
} an Intel x86 COM port. If you know a lot of individual things, then
} you have great intelligence. Obviously, being all-knowing, I have
} much intelligence, but not many people ask the oracle questions that
} require intelligence, usually I need Wisdom.
} Wisdom is a measure of the application of intelligence. A wise man
} knows to put an umbrella over his head, because he will not get wet
} if he does. If he does not get wet, he may not get ill. If he does
} not get ill, he can still work and earn money, because if he didn't
} earn money, he would not be able to buy food, he would starve and die.
} This series of thoughts marks wisdom, but of course to a rather lesser
} degree, since any idiot can realize that you'll get wet if you don't
} use an umbrella. It was the oracle who first explained to one of
} the first cavemen that it's not a good idea to throw his pregnant
} mate into the fire. A man that can apply ALL of his intelligence to
} a quandary is considered very wise. Even if the man has very little
} knowledge, if he uses it all, he is still wise, although many people
} may not recognize it.
} Most people don't want to know "How many potato chips are in a bag",
} most people want to know "What can I DO with 349 potato chips?"
} Most people ask the oracle for wisdom, not intelligence. The people
} who ask intelligent questions, get intelligent answers. Everybody else
} gets just plain fluff.
} As to the ZOT staff, it's a slightly more sophisticated tool then it
} used to be. In the past, it was sufficient to reduce an irritating
} supplicant to a pile of smoldering ashes. This effect has a slight
} drawback, and that is the fact that a smoldering pile of ashes tends
} to attract law suits and lawyers. Instead the ZOTs that we give now
} have a simple effect of detracting from the victim's intelligence.
} We didn't want to decrease the wisdom of the foolish supplicants,
} as this would increase the number of supplicants asking mindless
} questions, but by removing intelligence, the supplicant becomes
} wiser, as we tend not to eliminate commonly used knowledge, thus by
} the removal of unused knowledge, the used to unused ratio improves,
} and we have more wisdom. Unfortunately, we end up with wise morons.
} This ensures that the Oracle will never lose his job. Thank you very
} much for your support.
} So, you can see exactly why you get the answers that you do, and the
} fact that you consult with your dog's ear further proves my point
} about the ZOT staff. According to my records, you should be somewhere
} between Dan Quayle and a turnip. You're actually progressing faster
} then you should. If you wouldn't mind, please send me a sample of your
} brain tissue, so that we might understand why ZOTs are affecting you
} more quickly then normal.
} Thank you for your time, and you owe the oracle a picture of your
} dog's head...shaved.