} Despite your complete lack of grovelling before my great and mighty
} presence (you lowly, gnat's dropping of a pathetically poor excuse for
} a sub-normal supplicant) I deign to answer your surprisingly
} intelligent (considering the source. PAH!) question and not to ZOT you
} with my Staff of Zot. (for now). Show more respect next time.
}
} The answer to your question (you malodourous excrement of a dung
} beetle) is "No".
}
} The Falklands conflict (even the British know it was too pathetic to be
} called a "war") was started by the British Ministry of Food and
} Agriculture attempting to remove all the sheep from the Falkland
} Islands and replace them with all the cattle they had accidentally
} infected with BSE, with a view to exporting them all to Argentina in
} pre-emptive retaliation for Diego Maradona's infamous "Hand Of God"
} trick during a soccer game between the two countries some months later,
} which they were warned of in advance by the well-known British psychic
} "Mystic Meg". The Argentines got wind of this and decided to foil
} their plans by invading the Falklands and re-naming them the "Maldives"
} in the hope that this would confuse the British into sending their
} infected cattle to a holiday resort in the Indian ocean. When this plan
} backfired, and the British unexpectedly launched a full-scale military
} strike against the CORRECT group of islands, the Argentines panicked
} and decided to thwart the British plans by blowing up all the sheep
} with land mines. This only angered the animal-loving British who blew
} up the Argentines with precision bombing. The British knew that the
} Argentines posed little threat, since they had bought their weapons
} from the French, so when the Argentines actually sank one of their
} ships (with a FRENCH missile!?!?!?!?!?!) they did some investigating,
} and discovered that the French had long ago discovered that Britain and
} Argentina would be going to war(thanks to Uri Geller, a well-known
} foreign psychic), just in time to call in a German expert to build them
} a missile that actually worked, which they then sold to Argentina. In
} retaliation, the British torpedoed the Argentine navy's only working
} boat, and the French had to start blowing up south Pacific islands with
} thermonuclear weapons in order to deter the British from attacking them
} next. The Germans escaped military retribution by claiming (once again)
} that they were only following orders in the hope that it ought to work
} this time. It only partially succeded, and the British sent in a
} bulldozer to knock down their wall. The British won the Falklands
} Conflict, but the Argentines left so many land mines behind, that after
} all the sheep had been blown up (leaving rather messy, though soft and
} warm wool-lined craters behind) there wasn't enough level ground for
} the mad cows to wander around in circles and fall over on, so they sold
} the infected cattle to McDonalds, who by a staggering coincidence, now
} own several cattle ranches in Argentina. Beaten, but unbowed, Argentina
} now plans to start small and work their way up. Their next target is
} Iraq.
}
} You owe the Oracle a McChicken burger, a Harrier jump-jet, and a wooly
} cardigan.
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