} Look, kid, you've touched on a real sore point with us gods. Sure, at
} first it seemed like a good idea. After all, none of us wanted to marry
} outside the faith and, besides, mortal wives (and husbands) have this
} nasty habit of trying to "reform" us. "Zeus! Stop eating your children!
} Put them down! I mean it..." How many times have I heard *that* one!
} And, besides, what could a half-human/half-god child do with their
} sort-of omniscience? Fortell what the next item would be on the Home
} Shopping Network? No, it seemed to be best to keep it in the family, so
} to speak.
} For the first eon or two, it was okay. It had a deliciously naughty
} feeling to marry your sister's daughter's mother's brother... until you
} realized that you had managed to marry yourself!
} Once we got that straightened out, though, some of the offspring seemed
} to be a little... odd. Take the god Harold The Not-So-Swift (from the
} Norse side of the family). At first, he seemed to be fine, until we
} noticed that he had begun to instruct the people of Britain to build
} these circles of really big, I mean *huge*, stones. Sure, it was a
} chuckle, but a *calendar*? Really. I mean, their local building
} association (so to speak) could have given them a nice one with
} photographs of the Cotswold hills for free... Then there was
} Qwetzimotizumickle (well, something like that) who got a bug up his
} butt about hearts. No, not bridge, but red, raw, bleeding hearts. As
} the Valley Girls say, "E-e-e-e-e-www!" Just what the Hades are we going
} to do with 10,000,000 beating and lightly-toasted hearts, anyway?
} We finally realized that the god-head gene pool was really getting
} watered down when Vishra (a
} great-great-cousin-brother-something-or-other of Vishnu and Ra) decided
} as a giggle to materialize to some Harvard undergrad and tell him to
} create a screen-saver that features flying toasters!
} Quite frankly, that was enough for me. I'm an Episcopalian, now.
} You owe the Oracle a copy of the Book of Common Prayer translated into
} Norse runes.